Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Church Bulletin Bloopers - LAUGH :)

Collapse

Ad Widget

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Church Bulletin Bloopers - LAUGH :)

    THIS IS SORT OF LONG, BUT I HAD TO SHARE THIS - EVERYONE NEEDS A LAUGH :lol:
    They're Back! Church Bulletins.
    Thank God for church ladies with typewriters.
    These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins
    or were announced in church services:


    -------------------------------------------------------
    The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
    -------------------------------------------------------
    The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water."
    The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."
    -------------------------------------------------------
    Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall.
    Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
    -------------------------------------------------------
    Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things
    not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
    ----------------------------------------------------
    The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled
    due to a conflict.
    ----------------------------------------------------
    Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community.
    Smile at someone who is hard to love.
    Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.
    ----------------------------------------------------
    Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
    ----------------------------------------------------
    Miss Charlene Mason sang, "I will not pass this way again,"
    giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
    ----------------------------------------------------
    For those of you who have children and don't know it,
    we have a nursery downstairs.
    ----------------------------------------------------
    Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir.
    They need all the help they can get.
    ----------------------------------------------------
    The Rector will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing:
    "Break Forth Into Joy."
    ----------------------------------------------------
    Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
    ----------------------------------------------------
    A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall.
    Music will follow.
    ----------------------------------------------------
    At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be, "What Is Hell?"
    Come early and listen to our choir practice.
    ----------------------------------------------------
    Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new
    members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
    ----------------------------------------------------
    Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled.
    Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
    ----------------------------------------------------
    Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
    ----------------------------------------------------
    The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment,
    and gracious hostility.
    ----------------------------------------------------
    Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
    ----------------------------------------------------
    The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind.
    They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
    ----------------------------------------------------
    This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the
    Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
    ----------------------------------------------------
    Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are
    invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
    ----------------------------------------------------
    The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him
    their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
    ----------------------------------------------------
    Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM.
    Please use the back door.
    ----------------------------------------------------
    The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church
    basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
    ----------------------------------------------------
    Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
    -------------------------------------------------------
    The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last
    Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."

  • #2
    Re: Church Bulletin Bloopers - LAUGH

    http://69.16.243.148/forums/showthread.php?t=41692
    sigpic

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Church Bulletin Bloopers - LAUGH

      Not sure what your 'link' there was.........clicked on it and took me to a screen to log in to MiceChat.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Church Bulletin Bloopers - LAUGH

        Maybe you should log in?
        sigpic

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Church Bulletin Bloopers - LAUGH

          :lmao:
          What an idiot....

          Yeah, I do that Twitter thing.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Church Bulletin Bloopers - LAUGH

            "you do not have permission to view this thread, it could be because your name is figment and we dont want you to see"

            wow.. great customized blocking message...

            oh.. brilliant thread...

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Church Bulletin Bloopers - LAUGH


              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Church Bulletin Bloopers - LAUGH

                The reason why you guys can't see it is because I posted basically the same thing a few weeks ago, but in the DMCA.

                You guys can't view it unless you're signed up for MC Gold. Sorry about that. I forgot it WAS in the DMCA...thought it was in the open forums.

                Carry on, carry on...
                sigpic

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Church Bulletin Bloopers - LAUGH

                  No worries! It's cool.
                  :thumbup: :thumbup:

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Church Bulletin Bloopers - LAUGH

                    The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind.
                    They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

                    :lmao:

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Church Bulletin Bloopers - LAUGH

                      Those are some good ones. It's amazing what a letter or two will do to a message.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Church Bulletin Bloopers - LAUGH

                        Originally posted by Demigod View Post
                        Maybe you should log in?
                        I thought they were hilarious!! In fact I added a few to my sig line. thank you Disneydaddy :lol:

                        I see you posted the same thing, both you guys made my day :lol:

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Church Bulletin Bloopers - LAUGH

                          Originally posted by Disneyland Daddy View Post
                          The Rector will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing:
                          "Break Forth Into Joy."
                          ----------------------------------------------------
                          At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be, "What Is Hell?"

                          Come early and listen to our choir practice.
                          ----------------------------------------------------
                          Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled.
                          Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

                          ----------------------------------------------------
                          The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind.

                          They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
                          ----------------------------------------------------
                          Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are
                          invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
                          ----------------------------------------------------

                          The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church
                          basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
                          ----------------------------------------------------
                          The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last
                          Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."
                          :lmao: I like these the best!

                          Great thread idea Disneydad!


                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Church Bulletin Bloopers - LAUGH

                            funny..................

                            Friends for life

                            Comment

                            Ad Widget

                            Collapse
                            Working...
                            X