Interesting article. Especially the part about guys who cheat for emotional support.
Speaking as a 56 year old guy who was married for nearly 26 years and has been single for the past 8 years and who did not cheat but considered it a few times, I find the article to be pretty realistic.
My late wife suffered from bi-polar disorder her entire life, and left this life in the usual way for such persons.
There was very little sex during our marriage, I missed it a lot. But to an even greater degree, I missed the emotional connection. It just wasn't there; it seemed that she was too busy battling her demons to pay much attention to me.
One thing that I felt was missing in the article was the love angle. Love (or a persons perception of it) is the most powerful force ever. In a way, it can even alter time. I think a lot of guys who cheat are in love with their wives, but at the same time, feel unmet needs. Sometimes physical needs, sometimes emotional, most of the time both.
And even worse, if said guy brings up his wants/needs/desires to his wife, he will almost always feel attacked during the course of the conversation. This is not usually the intent of the wife, it's more like the perception of the husband.
The sad part is that if each person would see things from the others perspective, the issues would very likely be discussed in such a way to bring about positive change by both persons.
My husband once paid me the greatest compliment a husband can make to his wife, when he said.
"I never, did not want to come home".
Men who cheat on their wives obviously don't feel the same way.
That's the truth!
I can't say the same thing. My late wife, being bi-polar, wasn't exactly the most stable thing on the planet. Some mornings she would be pretty much a basket case, and I really didn't want to come home to that or even worse. But often, if she wasn't feeling well in the morning, she would be fine when I got home. Other times........
It worked the other way too. It was the worst when she would be ok in the morning, but not so good when I got home.
So yes, I'd agree that cheaters often don't want to come home. And guys who enjoy their home life have far less reason to cheat.
But we need to remember though, it takes both spouses to make a desirable home life. One cannot do it on their own.
Data has shown - repeatedly - that monogamy is not a natural state for humans. What is puzzling is why we expect, demand, and build into institutions an ideal that is rarely achieved. Two of the basic needs are to love and be loved, and surprisingly for many - variety. Those are a bad combination when neither of those needs are being met.
Also remember - "cheating" can only occur when one or both parties in a relationship have pledged to be monogamous. Without setting up nearly impossible conditions to meet in said relationship - "cheating" cannot occur. Simply put, if you want to eliminate "cheating" you must not expect monogamy.