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Make your own JC Skipper lines!

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  • Make your own JC Skipper lines!

    OK. Everyone loves the Skipper jokes on the JC, so why not make up our own?

    Apperantly the current skippers have a set list of jokes and cant "adlib" any more. Darn shame. If thats the case, maybe they can put some of these jokes in the suggestion box? Hehehehe.

    Let me start.

    "Whats black, white, and red all over? This poor Zebra! fortunatly the nice family of Lions are tending too its wounds. Apperantly the poor Zebra was malled by a wild herd of 'Panthera leo's'. Fortunatly she is in good hands now, the Lion family take a lot of 'pride' in there jobs!"

    If there are any JC skippers here, feel free to use that one I would be honored! )

  • #2
    Re: Make your own JC Skipper lines!

    "Welcome to the world famous Jungle Cruise. For the next 15 minutes I will be reading you flame war threads from micechat.com"

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    • #3
      Re: Make your own JC Skipper lines!

      Oh Lord, your spelling and grammar. :X Please allow me to humbly adjust it.

      "What's black, white, and red all over? This poor Zebra! Fortunatly the nice family of Lions are tending to its wounds. Apparantly the poor Zebra was mauled by a wild herd of 'Panthera leos'. Fortunatly she is in good hands now, the Lion family take a lot of 'pride' in thier jobs!"

      Sorry. Oh God Sorry.
      Member of the Disney Class of 2005
      Disneyland CM for 4 years.
      May 6, 2005 - present.

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      • #4
        Re: Make your own JC Skipper lines!

        Thanks MelMel... I think....

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        • #5
          Re: Make your own JC Skipper lines!

          The Following Joke is not intended for childred under 18. DON'T CLICK

          Spoiler
          Look! it's the secred elephant bathing pool! Go ahead and look, You won't see any penises


          Dang I'm tired. THAT will get me some bad rep I'm sure.... I thought of it and giggled like a school girl.

          I've always wondered what would happen if the skipper just went nuts and said stuff like that.

          He would no longer be a skipper, that's what.
          St. Elizabeth, Patron Saint of Themed parks. Protect us from break downs, long lines, and used gum. Amen.

          "Dance like it hurts, love like you need money, and work when people are watching" - Dogbert




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          • #6
            Re: Make your own JC Skipper lines!

            Passing the elephant bathing pool...

            "And that's why the water looks so nasty folks"
            The Next Big Disney Thing: starts Jan. 3rd

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            • #7
              Re: Make your own JC Skipper lines!

              Thank you for riding aboard the world famous Jungle Cruise, and enjoy your stay in the second happiest place on earth. The happiest? That would be the Cast Member parking lot 45 minutes after closing.
              Make something Idiot-Proof, and someone will build a better Idiot.

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              • #8
                Re: Make your own JC Skipper lines!

                Amid the splashing pirahnas

                "Don't worry, their still full from my last cruise!"
                The Next Big Disney Thing: starts Jan. 3rd

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                • #9
                  Re: Make your own JC Skipper lines!

                  *At Trader Sam*
                  "You know I spoke to Trader Sam the other day, and got to meet his wife...lovely couple. Shortly before she came into the hut, I asked him if his wife was nice, and he replied with, "Whoa-oh, here she comes, she's a man-eater."

                  (only 80s fanatics will get that. <_>)

                  *At the new camp scene*
                  "Well, that enormous explosion can mean one of two things, either the jungle cruise skipper in front of us had the lunch special, or the explorer camp has been invaded by...oh dear, I was afraid of this. Folks, what you see here is an example of 'Gorilla Warfare'."

                  Meh, these are kinda lame...I'll come up with better ones later, too tired. xD



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                  • #10
                    Re: Make your own JC Skipper lines!

                    Originally posted by melmel
                    Oh Lord, your spelling and grammar. :X Please allow me to humbly adjust it.
                    Sorry. Oh God Sorry.
                    We should all be so perfect.

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                    • #11
                      Re: Make your own JC Skipper lines!

                      Does anyone have the transcript to the infamous rated R version?
                      When you wish upon a star, your dreams come true, but because of distance, not for millions of years.

                      This message brought to you by Wookiee Cookiees - "MMM... Chewie!"

                      Visit The Endor Express - The Ultimate Guide to Disney's Star Tours

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                      • #12
                        Re: Make your own JC Skipper lines!

                        In one breath:

                        If you liked this ride, my name is Dan and I was your Skipper. If you didn't like your ride, you must be an APer who has been on this more times than I have and felt that I didn't capture the correct balance of post-modern humor vis a vie the classic Disney touch. In that case, my name is Skip and you've just been on Pirates of the Caribbean- Yo-Ho!





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                        • #13
                          Re: Make your own JC Skipper lines!

                          Originally posted by GuardianDragon_Mushu
                          what you see here is an example of 'Gorilla Warfare'.
                          FANTASTIC! That is exactly the kind of corny (but funny) joke that is perfect for the Jungle Cruise. Fits in perfect context to the other approved jokes. I LOVE it.
                          MiceChat 101: Be NICE! If you don't play well with others, you are in the wrong sandbox.

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                          • #14
                            Re: Make your own JC Skipper lines!

                            Originally posted by HMFan
                            We should all be so perfect.
                            It's ok. Her correction wasn't perfect.
                            Good morning, son
                            In twenty years from now
                            Maybe we'll both sit down and have a few beers
                            And I can tell you 'bout today
                            And how I picked you up and everything changed
                            It was pain
                            Sunny days and rain
                            I knew you'd feel the same things...


                            sigpic

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                            • #15
                              Re: Make your own JC Skipper lines!

                              Originally posted by HMFan
                              We should all be so perfect.
                              Dude, don't bag on Melmel. She did apologize for it, and his grammar and spelling needed some work.
                              Make something Idiot-Proof, and someone will build a better Idiot.

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