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Walt Jr's Disneyland Contest #1:The Most Original Jungle Cruise Joke!

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  • Walt Jr's Disneyland Contest #1:The Most Original Jungle Cruise Joke!

    Okay! Nominate your skipper (If you know their name) for our most original Jungle Cruise Joke Contest.

    Be sure to tune in soon for another one of Walt Jr's Disneyland Contests!
    Friend walks into line of The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh-
    "Come on, Let's go see Country Bear- .......Oh."
    -August 1st 2010

    And this elevator traverls directly to The Twilight Zone The Gift Shop!
    -August 2nd 2010

  • #2
    Re: Walt Jr's Disneyland Contest #1:The Most Original Jungle Cruise Joke!

    "the hippos are really happy when they are blowing Bubbles.. and she really enjoys it too"
    "As usual he's taken over the coolest spot in the house"- Father re: Orville 1963

    [FONT=Arial Narrow]

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Walt Jr's Disneyland Contest #1:The Most Original Jungle Cruise Joke!

      "Look, those natives have Britney's family - the Spears!"

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Walt Jr's Disneyland Contest #1:The Most Original Jungle Cruise Joke!

        Approaching the native scene and the natives are singing: Look it's American Idol!

        Approaching the native scene at night: Be realy quiet so they don't see us (Turns lights on and off and yells) Hey! Over Here!

        Sorry! I hit a button! Skip this post.
        Friend walks into line of The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh-
        "Come on, Let's go see Country Bear- .......Oh."
        -August 1st 2010

        And this elevator traverls directly to The Twilight Zone The Gift Shop!
        -August 2nd 2010

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Walt Jr's Disneyland Contest #1:The Most Original Jungle Cruise Joke!

          (When you see the large python hanging from a tree near the end of the attraction): We call that snake "Tommy Lee" around here... not sure why...

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Walt Jr's Disneyland Contest #1:The Most Original Jungle Cruise Joke!

            Approaching the native scene and the natives are singing: Look it's American Idol!

            Approaching the native scene at night: Be realy quiet so they don't see us (Turns lights on and off and yells) Hey! Over Here!

            The Elephant starts to raise his trunk: Parents, this is a great time to remember that your children make great shields.

            Approaching the orangitang with the aligator.
            That monkey's girfriend's name is ginger but be carefull everone! Ginger Snaps! Yes, she's one tough cookie and that was the best joke right there!

            Later the aligator was moved to the pirahna scene!
            Friend walks into line of The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh-
            "Come on, Let's go see Country Bear- .......Oh."
            -August 1st 2010

            And this elevator traverls directly to The Twilight Zone The Gift Shop!
            -August 2nd 2010

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Walt Jr's Disneyland Contest #1:The Most Original Jungle Cruise Joke!

              *shoots gun in air* phew we got the one in the tree, he was gonna pounce on us
              "Is a man who chooses to be bad better than a man who has the good imposed on him?"
              - Anthony Burgess
              - Walt Disney on Disneyland

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Walt Jr's Disneyland Contest #1:The Most Original Jungle Cruise Joke!

                (Approaching the temple ruins in the beginning of the ride)... "this is all that remains of a past legacy worshipped by many - the Rocket Rods"
                Last edited by RobotMirror; 09-07-2006, 04:13 PM. Reason: Added parens

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Walt Jr's Disneyland Contest #1:The Most Original Jungle Cruise Joke!

                  OK, here is the one and only joke I wrote while I was a JC skipper:
                  (everything else I said were "classics" told since the '70's...)

                  (At Trader Sam, most skippers will tell some sort of cannibal joke; I'd follow up with this: )

                  You know, Trader Sam and I were both on the Atkins diet. Then we ran out of him.


                  - Johnny
                  "Remember, no matter where you go, there you are." - BB

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Walt Jr's Disneyland Contest #1:The Most Original Jungle Cruise Joke!

                    Look bamboo!!! more bamboo!!!! look to your left, bamboo!!! (the whole ride)

                    - JCS Andrew

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Walt Jr's Disneyland Contest #1:The Most Original Jungle Cruise Joke!

                      The bones in a piranha scene" Thats what happen to the country bear jambree"
                      Originally posted by LlamaLover
                      Okay I just have to derail this thread one more time because JCG that was not a bad joke, it was high-lar-e-us! It is a good thing I was not drinking something because it would have ended up all over my screen. This image of your cat, fully dressed, requesting a photo shoot (in an English accent mind you) just really got to me. Wow, I need to go catch my breath and maybe see what was in that bottled water I was drinking earlier...

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Walt Jr's Disneyland Contest #1:The Most Original Jungle Cruise Joke!

                        At night, near the hippos -

                        If you listen real quietly, you can hear the baby hippo calling for it's mother... (puts down mic, turns out light)

                        HEY MAAAA!





                        "Think of a wonderful thought!"

                        "Any happy little thought?"

                        Freedom is a word I rarely use without thinking.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Walt Jr's Disneyland Contest #1:The Most Original Jungle Cruise Joke!

                          pointing to gorrilla trying to get bananas " you don't see that every day but I do about 35 times a day"
                          Originally posted by LlamaLover
                          Okay I just have to derail this thread one more time because JCG that was not a bad joke, it was high-lar-e-us! It is a good thing I was not drinking something because it would have ended up all over my screen. This image of your cat, fully dressed, requesting a photo shoot (in an English accent mind you) just really got to me. Wow, I need to go catch my breath and maybe see what was in that bottled water I was drinking earlier...

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Walt Jr's Disneyland Contest #1:The Most Original Jungle Cruise Joke!

                            theres are first sign of danger, pointing to DANGER sign on a box at the begining of the ride. Female skipper at native scene" Uh oh, looks like natives are going to attack us.Kids,women.....you better lie down men stand up!"
                            Originally posted by LlamaLover
                            Okay I just have to derail this thread one more time because JCG that was not a bad joke, it was high-lar-e-us! It is a good thing I was not drinking something because it would have ended up all over my screen. This image of your cat, fully dressed, requesting a photo shoot (in an English accent mind you) just really got to me. Wow, I need to go catch my breath and maybe see what was in that bottled water I was drinking earlier...

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Walt Jr's Disneyland Contest #1:The Most Original Jungle Cruise Joke!

                              Back when I used to work as a tour guide at USH (you know, when being a tour guide there actually MEANT something...), some of the USH tour guides and the Jungle Cruise skippers used to trade jokes; my favorite one (that I used on my tram all the time after I heard it) was as people were exiting:

                              "Folks, as you're exiting the tram (boat), please remember to watch your step and watch your head... of course, if you miss your step and hit your head, then watch your language - this is a family attraction."

                              (P.S. The joke I exchanged for that one? "Remember to grab your valuables when exiting if you don't to lose them - and that includes your kids. Of course, if you DO want to lose them, leave the kids here - you'll never see them again. Unclaimed children are eventually put to work - I've been here since 1984; if you see my parents, tell them I love them.")

                              Comment


                              • #16
                                Re: Walt Jr's Disneyland Contest #1:The Most Original Jungle Cruise Joke!

                                "Please do not step over the boxes in the middle - they are there for your frustration."
                                Make something Idiot-Proof, and someone will build a better Idiot.

                                Comment


                                • #17
                                  Re: Walt Jr's Disneyland Contest #1:The Most Original Jungle Cruise Joke!

                                  :ointing to the Arabic writing on the wall just before unloading::

                                  "Alright folks, that's it. Any complaints please feel free to drop us an e-mail, our address is up there on the wall..."

                                  Comment


                                  • #18
                                    Re: Walt Jr's Disneyland Contest #1:The Most Original Jungle Cruise Joke!

                                    Originally posted by AKComic View Post
                                    (P.S. The joke I exchanged for that one? "Remember to grab your valuables when exiting if you don't to lose them - and that includes your kids. Of course, if you DO want to lose them, leave the kids here - you'll never see them again. Unclaimed children are eventually put to work - I've been here since 1984; if you see my parents, tell them I love them.")

                                    LOl love that one.

                                    Comment


                                    • #19
                                      Re: Walt Jr's Disneyland Contest #1:The Most Original Jungle Cruise Joke!

                                      "Okay folks, If you take a look to the right... [pause] then you won't be able to see what I'm about to show you on the left side..."

                                      Heard this line being told in the que line for Disneyland's Jungle Cruise by a park visitor who was very verbal about them being a big fan of this attraction here and the one in WDW.

                                      Comment


                                      • #20
                                        Re: Walt Jr's Disneyland Contest #1:The Most Original Jungle Cruise Joke!

                                        While pulling up to the dock: "I'd like to thank the California Penitentiary Work Release Program for allowing me to be here today..."

                                        Our revels now are ended. These our actors, As I foretold you, were all spirits and Are melted into air, into thin air: And, like the baseless fabric of this vision, The cloud-capp'd towers, the gorgeous palaces, The solemn temples, the great globe itself, Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve And, like this insubstantial pageant faded, Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff As dreams are made on, and our little life Is rounded with a sleep. mycroft16 on Twitter

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