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Fave Jungle Cruise Joke

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  • EpTxGuy
    replied
    Referring to the elephants shooting water out their trunks at the guests: "They think it's funny, but it's snot."

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  • Treat
    replied
    "The Bangle Tiger can weigh up to 5000 pounds and can jump over 25 feet, the only animal in the jungle that can do that"

    "The Bull Elephant can weigh up to 5000 pounds and can jump over 25 feet, the only animal in the jungle tat can do that"

    The Burmese Python can weigh up to 5000 pounds and can jump over 25 feet, the only animal in the jungle that can do that"

    :lol: that one cracks me up everytime

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  • crankypage
    replied
    An old one...

    "Let me take a moment to point out a few of the interesting plants along the river."

    (Skipper then points, slowly, at a few plants, pauses, and continues his spiel.)

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  • iheartdisney
    replied
    and coming up on your left, the backside of water, now there's something you don't see everyday...but I do, every 7 minutes.
    That is my all-time favorite!
    I also love "look at the baby lions playing with that sleeping Zebra"

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  • robotpirates
    replied
    Originally posted by ah schucks
    Yes cause tone is translated so perfectly by the internet *jams his finger down on the cynical sarcastic key over and over again*
    :bow: :lol:

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  • kiwilime49
    replied
    Seeing the backside of water always cracks me up!

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  • ah schucks
    replied
    Originally posted by thndrmtnskp
    wow most of ya know how to slay perfectly good jokes
    Yes cause tone is translated so perfectly by the internet *jams his finger down on the cynical sarcastic key over and over again*

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  • Tinkerbelle
    replied
    and coming up on your left, the backside of water, now there's something you don't see everyday...but I do, every 7 minutes.

    Leave a comment:


  • thndrmtnskp
    replied
    wow most of ya know how to slay perfectly good jokes

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  • LSPoorEeyorick
    replied
    Lower your head and watch your step, and enjoy your day at the biggest people-trap ever built by a mouse!

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  • Gwyren
    replied
    Originally posted by mamabot
    Last night, we thought we were getting that one (while on the GOLD boat). Boy, we were surprised. Not often that the Skippers can surprise a boatload of APs.
    Mamabot, agreed. That was one of the better things I have ever heard on the Jungleboat Cruise.

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  • defm22
    replied
    Well, it's the end of the ride and now we return you to this magical, mystical place I like to call...in sick as much as possible.

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  • mamabot
    replied
    Originally posted by FigmentJedi
    "If you listen quietly, you can hear the baby hippos call out to their mom"
    someone yells out "HEY MOM!"
    Last night, we thought we were getting that one (while on the GOLD boat). Boy, we were surprised. Not often that the Skippers can surprise a boatload of APs.

    Another favorite they did last night:

    "Walt Disney's first attempt at the Monorail." (The arches at the entrance and exit of the Ancient Cambodian Shrine, which was built by Ancient Cabodian Shriners.)

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  • ni_teach
    replied

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  • ah schucks
    replied

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  • twinmom
    replied
    I am loving this thread!!

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  • Druggas
    replied
    I love kids,yes I do, especially with a little barbcue sauce and pineapple. Just kidding, just kidding, the pineapple gets caught between my teeth. I hate that!

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  • defm22
    replied
    Favorites

    1) Do you know what the difference between the crocodiles and alligators are? The crocodiles are made of plastic and the alligators are made with fiberglass.

    2) [Pointing to pillars] This was the Walt Disney Company's first attempt at a monorail system.

    3) Please exit the boat the same way you entered...pushing and shoving.

    4) Okay ladies and gentlemen the native usually attack from the right hand side of the boat. [Natives attack] Wait one minute here!!! What are you guys doing on the left side of the boat??? You know I told you to attack from the right and another thing what are you doing just standing looking stupid with those spears in your hand your supposed to throw them! Get back down and try that one again!

    5) Ok everyone, here are the Monkeys, wave to the Monkeys... [silence] Ah, well, you see, they would wave back, but their hands are glued to the rocks. :monkey:

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  • Dirton
    replied
    "Please be careful when exiting the jungle cruise. We wouldn't want to scratch up out dock"

    My favorite joke was one that I heard from a friend and is not in the script. Near the end of the cruise some teenagers went running by the JC screaming and yelling and sort of took the whole boats attention, to which the skipper replied, "AH! I remember my first beer" :lol:

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  • BugsBunny
    replied
    "I'll be your Skipper, Gilligan, MaryAnne, Ginger..."

    And a bit a Skipper did for us one time (my description will be bad, the bit was funny) where the natives were re-setting to their position and she said, "Now stop that! Hang your heads in shame and think about what you've done."

    Leave a comment:

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