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I have the hots for a 50-year-old- Edmonton Sun- 5/7/05

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  • I have the hots for a 50-year-old- Edmonton Sun- 5/7/05

    http://www.canoe.ca/NewsStand/Column...7/1029330.html

    In fact, I've been enamoured - maybe even slightly obsessed - ever since I met her when I was eight and she was ... um ... well, a lot older.

    I'm not going to try and continue this pervy bit of deception any longer than that, because it will take you all of two seconds to realize that I'm not talking about a woman (though my much crushed-upon seventh-grade math teacher would be approaching 50 now, which I find more depressing than potentially arousing), but rather about Disneyland.

    Yeah, that Disneyland. No, there's not another punchline. Yeah, I need help.


    Disneyland turns 50 this year, and the Mouse held a big Happiest Homecoming on Earth kickoff celebration this week, to which I was invited because I've managed to consistently deceive the Disney people into thinking I somehow cover this sort of thing for a living. Well, until right now.

    And here's where one of the most fundamental contradictions of my personality rears its freaky head. Despite the fact I'm cynical, sarcastic, boobie-obsessed and frequently intoxicated, I totally and unabashedly buy into the Disneyland myth. Not Disney the corporation, and not even necessarily Disney the movie/animation studio, especially when they release shoddy direct-to-video sequels like Lion King 1-7/8 - Pumbaa Farts Louder Than Ever.

    Nope, I'm all about the original Disneyland, built in an orange grove in Orange County in nineteen-fiddy-five, brainchild of one Walt "Freeze Me When I Die" Disney, who just wanted a fun place to hang out with his daughters.
    Nothing better than a funny Canadian! :lol:
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  • #2
    :lol: That is good!

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    • #3
      It's also inaccurate. Everyone knows Disneyland's a "he".
      My fondest memory of Walt Disney was the day Disneyland opened....I was standing next to him - I was 12 years old - he was looking at the gate where people were coming through, he had his hands behind his back, he had a grin from ear to ear, but you could see the lump in his throat and the tear coming down his cheek because his dream had been realized. -- Mouseketeer Sharon Baird, "Mouseke-Memories", Walt Disney Treasures: The Mickey Mouse Club

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      • #4
        Originally posted by dramaqueen
        http://www.canoe.ca/NewsStand/Column...7/1029330.html



        Nothing better than a funny Canadian! :lol:
        Damn straight!

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        • #5
          lol..........that was hilarious, esp. that last line!

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          • #6
            Aww cool! I'm from Edmonton. But I don't read the Sun. That was awesome. :bow:

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            • #7
              Originally posted by SpeMarX
              Aww cool! I'm from Edmonton. But I don't read the Sun. That was awesome. :bow:
              Omg im from calgary woot another cdn and stuff, awsome artical it makes me proud to be cdn :P or disneyanian
              ~I Am Finally Just Me~

              My Youtube Video Blog

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              • #8
                Originally posted by SilentBob66
                It's also inaccurate. Everyone knows Disneyland's a "he".
                Doesn't Roy Disney refer to Disneyland as a she? Or a "lady" or something in his last letter on savedisney.com?
                Member of the Disney Class of 2005
                Disneyland CM for 4 years.
                May 6, 2005 - present.

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                • #9
                  haha, most things are referred to as "she", like ships, planes... the earth...

                  Disneyland is definitely a "she".
                  Well, light travels from the sun. Then, bounces off of our planet, and back into our eyes so we can perceive color. My body can intercept that light and dance around on it!


                  -- robotarmada.net --

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by melmel
                    Doesn't Roy Disney refer to Disneyland as a she? Or a "lady" or something in his last letter on savedisney.com?
                    That's right melmel...and only a lady would age so gracefully...even after years of abuse(aka Pressler/Harriss)

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by neuhickman79
                      That's right melmel...and only a lady would age so gracefully...even after years of abuse(aka Pressler/Harriss)
                      Awwww. I love you neuhickman.
                      Well, light travels from the sun. Then, bounces off of our planet, and back into our eyes so we can perceive color. My body can intercept that light and dance around on it!


                      -- robotarmada.net --

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