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Your Favorite Jungle Cruise Joke/Ad Lib

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  • Your Favorite Jungle Cruise Joke/Ad Lib

    I love the Jungle Cruise and always look forward to a new joke or ad lib to make my jungle river expedition complete. So I was wondering, what is your favorite joke or ad-libbed line from the Jungle Cruise? My personal favorite is probably this one as we were exiting the boat once: "As you enjoy the rest of your day at Disneyland, remember the words of Jiminy Cricket, 'When you wish upon a star, your dreams do come true...for $47 plus parking." That one has always stuck with me. Obviously it's a little dated, but I always quote it just like that. Cracks me up. So, what is yours?

  • #2
    Wow, there's so many it's hard to choose...I always love the "Limestone...Most people take it for granite" and the ever present "watch your steps, watch your heads, if you hit your heads, watch your mouth."
    Looking for the truth about giraffes? http://www.menacinggiraffes.blogspot.com/

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    • #3
      For some reason, I always love the jokes at the safari scene.

      "Rhinos always get their point across...in the end" :lol: :lol:

      I've only had a few skippers do this, but when doing the backside of water @ Switzer Falls, if it's at night...when they point the spotlight at the water, and start moving it all around...then start singing Fantasmic! and add "Some imagination, huh!" That was just in case we all missed the first show....oh man that was probably some of the best rides I've had....ever. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

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      • #4
        I recall going on it when the MSEP was rolling, and it was loud enoug to hear in the deepest darkest parts of the jungle. Quite the shows-colliding effect. So, the skipper put on a light show and started humming along to it.

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        • #5
          "I haven't seen them before, they're gnu."

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          • #6
            At the Rhino scene:

            WOW! Would you look at that! There sure are a lot of rocks there!


            Hippos (recent addition):

            (Lights off)
            If you listen closly you might be able to hear a baby hippo calling for it's mother.

            silence
            silence
            silence
            silence
            silence
            (Tiny voice) Mama
            Bang (Gun)
            Bang

            I think I got him.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Not Afraid
              At the Rhino scene:

              WOW! Would you look at that! There sure are a lot of rocks there!


              Hippos (recent addition):

              (Lights off)
              If you listen closly you might be able to hear a baby hippo calling for it's mother.

              silence
              silence
              silence
              silence
              silence
              (Tiny voice) Mama
              Bang (Gun)
              Bang

              I think I got him.

              :lol: I was waiting for you to post the new hippo joke! I have to agree that was the best joke ever!

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              • #8
                "Albert Falls"
                http://www.radioclambake.com

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                • #9
                  Waiting in line on JC the other day when a CM announces...

                  "Ladies and gentlemen, due to circumstances beyond our control, the Jungle Cruise will remain open for the rest of the night. I am sorry for the inconvenience this may cause you."

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                  • #10
                    When you get back to the docks after your cruise has ended:
                    "Now get out. Wait, I'm sorry... that was rude of me. Please ... Get out."

                    I usually say that to my friends after dropping them off back home after a night out...

                    Photos, news, and commentary every week from Walt Disney's Magic Kingdom!

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                    • #11
                      "There's a toucan... there's another toucan... one more and we'd have a six-pack"

                      Unusually and exceedingly peculiar and altogether quite impossible to describe...


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                      • #12
                        this one wasnt told by a CM but rather a friend of mine... youll see why in a moment.

                        "thats trader Sam. he is the local trader in the jungle. he will sell or trade you spears, shields and other various jungle trinkets. Ohh yeah and he deals in a little head."

                        same guy different area.

                        "ohh look its the anuall ring toss competition" - about the rhino.

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                        • #13
                          I always enjoyed the "backside of water" joke.
                          Lando Rocks.

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                          • #14
                            I like the backside of water, too.

                            And at night when the skipper shines the light on the bull eleohant... "You'll never seen another one of those!" then shines it on the other, then quickly turns it off: "Um, uh... you didn't see that!" Or the mother-in-law one.
                            Good morning, son
                            In twenty years from now
                            Maybe we'll both sit down and have a few beers
                            And I can tell you 'bout today
                            And how I picked you up and everything changed
                            It was pain
                            Sunny days and rain
                            I knew you'd feel the same things...


                            sigpic

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                            • #15
                              When I wa a kid we had a skipper who, every time we saw any kind of flowing water, even a little trickel, would shout out "Schwitzer Falls...What an Adventure!". By the end of the cruise we were all saying it togather. Since then, every time my family and I see water flowing, event the most beautiful falls in Hawaii, we can't help but shout out "Schwitzer Falls...What an Adventure!"
                              "Yes, I'm a natural blue"

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