THE ENCHANTED TIKI ROOM: ALOHA E KOMO MAI, LILO & STITCH!
A fan fiction script by J.E.Smith
A fan fiction script by J.E.Smith
AUTHOR’S NOTE: This is a revised version of something that I originally wrote back in 2008 after not being satisfied with the Stitch version of the Enchanted Tiki Room that had opened in Tokyo Disneyland. I thought that the idea of Stitch being in the Tiki Room had some potential, due to the Hawaiian aspects of the Lilo & Stitch series. Plus, had the show ever had come to Walt Disney World, it would have replaced the dreadful Under New Management version (50s doo-wop music and rap in the Tiki Room? No thanks!) and adding Stitch would have keep true to the Polynesian nature of the show.
However, there were several issues I had with the show, such as the show’s original hosts (Jose, Michael, Pierre, and Fritz) being replaced with new ones, the lack of the classic “Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Room” theme song, the show’s short length, and its abrupt ending (The birds letting Stitch be in the show just to shut him up and so he won’t interrupt them anymore, and then two seconds later they’ve switched gears and are like “Oh Stitch, we’d love to be in your ohana!”). So I wrote up a fanfic script addressing all of these issues, such as bringing in Lilo and changing the story somewhat.
LANI: Now you can see, tooki ba waba
Nothing but these clear blue skies
(With Fritz): Love it has found you, and when it surrounds you
It's just like paradise
PIERRE: Now the door has swung wide open
Now your heart has taken wing
JOSE: Feel that magic in the air
Oh hear your spirit sing
TIKI BIRDS & LILO:: Aloha...
JOSE: You'll find the place that you belong
TIKI BIRDS & LILO:: Ohana...
PIERRE: A family to call your own
TIKI BIRDS & LILO: Where you feel at home!
(The Uh-oha masks open their eyes)
UH-OHA: Ah, such a soothing song…you play so wonderfully blue one. And you child, are a good dancer for someone so young!
LILO: You really think so? Mahalo!
LANI: You still think these two really deserve to be cursed, Uh-oha?
UH-OHA: Well, now that I have calmed down, I now see that Stitch really did not mean to deliberately anger the Tiki Gods. I suppose I’ll let this slide, provided that you come back and clean up the windows later. Deal?
STITCH: Deal! And Stitch sorry!
UH-OHA: Then you are free to go.
(The following cheers happen all at once)
STITCH: All right!
FRITZ: Wundaba! Wundaba!
JOSE: Ariba! Ah ha ha!
UH-OHA: Just be more careful next time, blue one. I’ll take my leave now. Aloha, everyone!
(The Uh-oha masks close their eyes)
FRITZ: Hoo-hoo, now THAT was a close one!
LANI: That was kind of gutsy for you to stand up to Uh-oha like that, Lilo!
LILO: Well, I'd do anything it takes to help protect my ohana, even though he causes trouble sometimes. I don't where I'd be if I had never met him!
STITCH: Oh, Lilo…
PIERRE: Pardon moi for breaking up the sentiments, but we need to be, how you say, wrapping things up!
JOSE: Si! Would you like to lead us off, Senor Stitch?
STITCH: Okay, Jose! (Spoken in a “No way, Jose” fashion)
(The Tiki Room goes into the rave lighting that is used during the Tiki Rap in UNM and the flowerbeds descend from the ceiling)
STITCH: Iki tooki nee ha!
ORCHIDS: Iki tooki nee ha!
STITCH: Aka tiki baba!
TIKI GODS and BIRDS OF PARADISE: Aka tiki baba!
SITCH: Gaba ika tasooba?
ORCHIDS: Gaba ika tasooba!
ALL: Oocha! Chika! Miki miki coconut!
(The Tiki Room goes into the lighting used during the Conga finale of UNM)
ALL(Except Stitch): I lai la
Ua i la
No mala hini ohana
Welcome cousins, come on by
Aloha e komo mai
STITCH: Miki miki coconut!
All (Stitch joins in): I lai la
Ua i la
No mala hini ohana
(STITCH: Tasooba, tasooba!)
AlLL(Minus Stitch): Welcome cousins; come on by
Aloha e komo mai
STITCH: Icki bobo!
ALL: Aloha e komo mai
STITCH: Tooki ba waba!
ALL; Aloha e komo mai
ALL (Except for Tiki Gods): E komo maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaai!
TIKI GODS (In background during high note): I lai la,
Ua I la
ALL: No mala hini OHAN-A!
(Small jets of smoke shoot up out of the corners of the floral stage around Lilo & Stitch as they hit the last note. The Tiki Room goes dark except for dim lighting on Lilo, Stitch, and the host birds. Thunder and lighting effects are used. It rains very hard outside the windows)
TIKI GODS: Uhhhh…malaho!
LILO: Whoa, look at it pour out there!
JOSE: I think someone has left the shower running!
FRITZ: Oh wundaba! That heavy rain means that the Tiki Gods are really pleased!
LANI: Lilo! Stitch! The extra energy you added to the song must have really impressed them! Good job, you two!
LILO: Well, it was the least we could since Stitch caused the problem in the first place.
PIERRE: I hope he's learned something from all of this!
STITCH: Oh yeah, Stitch never gonna pull something like *this* ever again!
PIERRE: Thank goodness!
JOSE: I’m just glad no one got hurt, unlike the last time Uh-oha showed up!
PIERRE: Oui, but zat loud-mouthed parrot sure got what he deserved!
LANI: Loud-mouthed parrot? Last time?
FRITZ: Forgive us Lani, but that’s an incident we’d rather not talk about…
JOSE: I'm sorry that your first show didn’t go as planned, Lani.
LANI: Well that may be Jose, but this was a rather interesting experience to say the least.
PIERRE: Oui! It just goes to show that you don’t know what amazing or unusual things you’ll see here in ze…
(Tiki Room goes back to Conga lighting)
ALL: Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki Room
The Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki Room
All the birds sing words and the flowers croon
In the magical, wonderful, tropical
Enchanted Tiki Rooooooooooooooom!
STITCH: Heh! Heh! Heh! Bye-bye from everybody in the Tiki Room!
(The Tiki Room goes back to its normal lighting)
JOSE: Ole! Ole! Applause! Let’s give everybody a standing ovation! The birds! Lilo! Stitch! Everyone! Applause! Up on your feet! Give them all a great big hand! Ole!
LANI: And now, as long as you’re all standing…
JOSE: We have a wonderful magic trick for you.
LILO: Oh, a magic trick?
FRITZ: Ja! Everybody, face the door, und the trick is…we’re gonna make you all…DISAPPEAR!
LILO: Tsk! Oh!
STITCH: That old gag!
FRITZ: Hoo-hoo-hoo, I never get tired of doing that!
(The exit doors open and an instrumental of “Aloha e Komo Mai” plays)
CAST MEMBER: Ladies and gentlemen, please at this time gather your belogings and "disappear" out to the rear of the Tiki Room. Enjoy the rest of your day at the Magic Kingdom!
LILO: Goodbye, everybody!
PIERRE: Au revoir!
LANI: Aloha Oe!
FRITZ: Oy weh!
LILO: Well Stitch, I think we'd better be "disappearing" back to the hotel. Nani’s probably worried sick about us.
STITCH: Wait! Stitch going off to Tomorrowland first! Gonna show ‘em *real* alien encounter! (Laughs)
LILO: What…!? Stitch, wait! I thought you learned your lesson!
(Stitch’s head sticks up)
STITCH: Stitch just kidding! Race Lilo to monorail! But Stitch gets head start!
(He exits again)
LILO: Hey, no fair! (Laughs) Come back here! Aloha, Tiki Birds!
JOSE, PIERRE, FRITZ, and LANI: Aloha, Lilo!
LANI: (Laughs) Oh, that Stitch is such a rascal! But, he and Lilo really do seem to have a strong bond with each other.
PIERRE: Oui! Stitch may be a pest, but at least he’s a pest that has a good friend to steer him right!
LANI: All right guys, I’m curious. Exactly what's the deal about Uh-oha and this “loud-mouthed parrot” you mentioned earlier?
PIERRE: Well if you must know, that lowlife somehow ended up becoming the new owner of the Tiki Room and wanted to us to make some ridiculous changes to the show!
FRITZ: Ja, und then Uh-oha got fed up with him and roasted him like the turkey he is! He survived, unfortunately.
JOSE: Si. But eventually he lost the ownership after they found out he was secretly selling some of our birds off to Animal Kingdom behind our wings.
JOSE: (Yawn) Anyways, I don’t know about you mi amigos, but I’m tired after all this excitement. I think I’ll take a quick siesta before the next crowd comes in…
FRITZ: Ja, good idea. Oh look, there’s someone still down there!
JOSE: Congratulations! You stayed for our entire exit spiel!
JOSE, Pierre, Fritz, and Lani: You can go now!
(Just outside the Tiki Room's exit are two new, double-sided signs to the left and right as guests exit. On one side reads "Enchanted Tiki Room-Exit Only". The other side, the one the guest sees while leaving the Tiki Room, features a painting of Jose, Fritz, Pierre, and Lani. We see that Stitch has made an addition to this sign with a crude drawing of his and Lilo's faces in blue paint. The sign reads "Farewell and Aloha to You.")