Help with Sadness and depress.

[Rex Dopey24]

hi guys,

these past weeks have been nothing but sadness. we recently lost a co worker who passed away. He was really a nice kind and gentle good person who shook hands with us every day when he came to work and we chit chat often.

It's been weeks since he passed away and the funeral was two weeks ago on wednesday. I have this depression and sadness that can come on and off. and last friday, i felt like i became a different person. And right now i am feeling sad and I just want to cry. that was my first funeral i ever attended. even though i never met my some of my dad's deceased grand parents.

that's why i haven't been on mice chat for a while now. Should I see a doctor? I needs some advice if you wouldn't mind. thanks guys.

[I Heart Disneyland]

Re: Help with Sadness and depress.

First of all, I am so sorry for your loss.

If I were you, I'd speak to your parents about how you're feeling. Or, a good friend. I take by the way you write (lower case letters at the start of sentences, etc.) that you are youngish? I'd find a mentor or someone who is maybe not in your peer group to bounce this off of. Just speak to family and friends. I wouldn't jump into seeing a doctor, but, maybe a group in your area for group grief sessions. (They can be found at a lot of local hospitals. And, are just a group of people, not anything you typically have to pay for.) If you do feel out of control with depression, maybe see your family doctor and see what they have to say.

Don't forget that a certain amount of grief is 100% normal, but, we are not doctors here, and, cannot suggest you do one thing or another. What I said are just ideas from a 48 year old mom perspective.

I wish you the very best. Take good care of yourself.

[Coheteboy]

Re: Help with Sadness and depress.

Sorry you feel so down, RD. It's only natural to feel that way when you lose someone close to you. How long it takes to move on differs from person to person. All you can do is remember this person and using his memory to live your life best you can.

[aashee]

Re: Help with Sadness and depress.

Rex,

Talk to some people who have gone through tough situations, it will help. I wouldn't see a doctor just yet, it's good you haven't had to deal with a lot of tragedy up to this point. Life doesn't get any easier, learn how to cope on your own with great support from friends and family.

[aimster]

Re: Help with Sadness and depress.

You might want to talk to a grief counselor.

[Wotan]

Re: Help with Sadness and depress.

RD, sometimes these things pass; sometimes they don't. Sometimes, as well, they can act like a trigger, and start something that just doesn't seem to go away.

In any case, if you continue to have difficulty, please, please, do not hesitate to talk to a professional about it--medical, clergy, whoever. There are also plenty of low-cost programs if money is an issue. Don't feel as if this is the way things have to be, and that you're trapped in your situation.

[Ginarella]

Re: Help with Sadness and depress.

Hi Angel,

I'm so sorry to hear about your co-worker and the sadness will take some time to heal. I echo what everyone says here. Talk to family members and friends about your sense of sadness.

Just remember the good memories you had with your co-worker.

Take care of yourself.

[CaliforniaAdventurer]

Re: Help with Sadness and depress.

Sending positive vibes your way

[startours1]

Re: Help with Sadness and depress.

Keep your head up...remember the good times you had with him. Find something to do to help keep your mind off it. Nobody wants it to happen, but unfortuately, death is a part of life and is something we all have to cope with, and face at some point in our lives. Stay strong bud

[Rex Dopey24]

Re: Help with Sadness and depress.

First of all, I am so sorry for your loss.

If I were you, I'd speak to your parents about how you're feeling. Or, a good friend. I take by the way you write (lower case letters at the start of sentences, etc.) that you are youngish? I'd find a mentor or someone who is maybe not in your peer group to bounce this off of. Just speak to family and friends. I wouldn't jump into seeing a doctor, but, maybe a group in your area for group grief sessions. (They can be found at a lot of local hospitals. And, are just a group of people, not anything you typically have to pay for.) If you do feel out of control with depression, maybe see your family doctor and see what they have to say.

Don't forget that a certain amount of grief is 100% normal, but, we are not doctors here, and, cannot suggest you do one thing or another. What I said are just ideas from a 48 year old mom perspective.

I wish you the very best. Take good care of yourself.

thanks for your advice everyone! my parents or should I say my dad thinks just for me to no think about it. which i can't actually. im getting better as the days go by. thanks for you friendly advices guys.

[Stitchy]

Re: Help with Sadness and depress.

I think coming here was a good first step. Lots of people on MC are willing to listen and offer great advice. You need to voice your feelings and work to get through this. It will take time, things like this always do. But, make a conscience effort each day to think on positive things. Hold your head up. Remember, we're here if you need to talk. Make sure to reach out to someone in person too. It never hurts to have a shoulder to cry on.

[Rex Dopey24]

Re: Help with Sadness and depress.

I think coming here was a good first step. Lots of people on MC are willing to listen and offer great advice. You need to voice your feelings and work to get through this. It will take time, things like this always do. But, make a conscience effort each day to think on positive things. Hold your head up. Remember, we're here if you need to talk. Make sure to reach out to someone in person too. It never hurts to have a shoulder to cry on.

thank you sitchy. I just feel like i needed to say these words because I would feel alot better and its a step towards the healing process. my co worker had it worst than me because he was still depress after wards. he just recently came back from mexico and he needed some time off. I just hope he feels better from his time off.

[TheGlassSlipper]

Re: Help with Sadness and depress.

Rex-
I am deeply sorry for your loss. I may not have the right words to say but if you need a friend youre more than welcome to PM me, or email me at [email protected] . What you're going through is going to take lots of time and patience. Days will seem long and hard, but you have to be strong for others too. I know it isnt easy, I have been through similar situations of losing someone I loved and without notice he was taken away in a tragic event. I want you to know it's okay to express your feelings in crying, perhaps writing. But you must let it out and talk with a friend if avail. With time it will get better. But I know that feeling. Continue to pass on your friends positive attitude with others you may encounter. I will be praying for you, I ask that God gives you the comfort you and your co workers may need at this time, that you all may be encouragement to one another throught the next few months. If you need anything please dont hesitate to message me.
Christina

[aashee]

Re: Help with Sadness and depress.

Hang in there Rex. Time truly will heal the wound that so open right now. Remember, you're friend wouldn't want to see your life altered by his demise, so take time to grieve and live live to your fullest because you know that's exactly what your co-worker would want.

[SnorkletsMom]

Re: Help with Sadness and depress.

I can only re-state what everyone else has said...that everyone deals with grief in their own way and in their own time, and that time is really what it takes. Some days things will seem easier to deal with and some days the loss will feel as painful as ever. But the painful days will become less and less frequent as time goes on. It's ok to cry and feel bad, and it's cathartic to let it out.

The past several years for me have been full of pain and loss and stress. If you need to talk or write or be silent but have someone there, you can PM and I'll be happy to give you contact info. :-)

Be good to yourself and give yourself time to heal. That's what your friend would want, and that's what your friends here want too.

[I Heart Disneyland]

Re: Help with Sadness and depress.

Just checking in on you to see how you're holding up today!

Just know that a lot of people care about you and are concerned. It's so difficult to lose a close friend. Especially since this is really your first encounter with death, it will be hard for a while.

It sounds like this gentleman treated you special and always had a handshake for you and a kind word and listening ear. It will take a while to get used to him not being there. It's a blessing you had that connection when you did. Try to keep the happy memories of him in your mind. Eventually, that will take over the sad. I promise you. (I've lost both parents and all grandparents, etc.)

Hold on and talk with all of us if you need to let it out.

[Rex Dopey24]

Re: Help with Sadness and depress.

thank you all for your amazing strength of words and warm kindness. this weekend i am going to go to the parks and enjoy the life we are living in.

[sunnygirl]

Re: Help with Sadness and depress.

Rex, I'm so sorry for your loss. :squeeze: I'm sure this isn't an easy time for you. I know grief and depression are truly difficult to tackle on your own. I think reaching out to some of your friends here is an excellent idea. The most important thing to remember here is that this will pass, but until it does, it's OK to feel the way you do. Sometimes we feel sad. Sometimes people feel so sad they think they'll be overwhelmed by it. Don't let anyone tell you not to think about it or that you're somehow wrong to feel the way you do. The only was you can begin to heal is to first feel the feelings you're having and acknowledge them. You don't have to be in a rush to feel better or act cheerful - that will come back to you in it's own time, when you are ready. It's hard to lose someone. I'm sorry you're going through this.

[SusieP.]

Re: Help with Sadness and depress.

This thread makes me incredibly proud of our MC community. It's a great reminder of how it doesn't take much to turn someone's day around. Words are really powerful in that regard.

Rex, there's so much good stuff in here, I have nothing really to add, except that if you do feel like crying, go ahead and cry. You have to go through the grief to get to the other side. Sounds like you are already feeling much better and taking everyone's words to heart. Remember that moving on, in time, doesn't mean you are forgetting the person; you'll always keep a part of them with you. :squeeze: