Is Grandma Going?

[AmbuhVee]

Sorry for the seriousness of this thread. I usually keep it light on here, but I'd like some advice from some people older than me.

Tonight my Grandma got taken away in an ambulance again. This is the second time in the past month she's been in the hospital. My Grandma has a history of heart problems. She has two or three stints, she takes medication, and she's been resuscitated with the paddles during a surgery before. She smokes a full pack a day. She's 79, and we're just not sure how much more she can take. We're pretty sure her time is going to be up on one of these trips to the hospital. Nobody says it, but we can all feel it.

When my Grandpa died I was 10, so I didn't really feel any pressure to help, but my Mom was pretty torn up about it. She has a history of depression and lots of conflict with her Dad that went unresolved. I didn't realize how bad it was until a few years later when she started to get over it and go back to who we knew.

So here's my question for you guys. How can I help her if this time happens to be my Grandma's last? I don't want the same thing to happen again.

[aashee]

Re: Is Grandma Going?

Just be there for her. A tragic loss like that requires a ton crying and a lot of time to feel like you can cope again. Remember with a jarring tragedy like that your Mom will not be all there, so show her patience and kindness because she loves you like always, it's just tough to show it when you are so sad.

Hang in there, sorry about your Grandma.

[hyperlitehunny]

Re: Is Grandma Going?

^ I couldn't have said it any better than aashee.

Give your mom space if she needs it, and let her know that even through the tough time such as this, you'll always be there, and that you love her.

[NatdRat]

Re: Is Grandma Going?

Ashee's comments are solid!

I would like to add that you may also want to talk with your mom. As this is the second time this has happen, I would not be suprized if your mom is not having the same thoughts. Maybe talking about it may help her deal with feelings and allow planning for the future, but only if you think she can handle that discussion.

Having just lost my grandmother under simular circumstances (in/out of hospital several times) I can tell you that knowing her time is near allows for better preparation (both physically and emotionally) for when that time comes. I can tell you that being able to say goodbye and telling her how much I love her meant a lot for me and for her.

That being said, here's to hoping for the best and hang in there.

[AmbuhVee]

Re: Is Grandma Going?

Thanks for the advice. We're not too sure about anything. There isn't a single piece of news from the hospital yet.

[hyperlitehunny]

Re: Is Grandma Going?

I will be keeping you and your family in my thoughts/prayers!