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  • My first christmas as an "adult"

    This marks my first year as an adult...I am moved out with my fiance, going to college, holding a good job and those things added up are nothing compared to the stress that this christmas is bringing me.

    Maybe its becuase the stress of both of my fiance and my own family trying to pressure us into spend the holiday with just them, or making sure that I get a gift for everyone that I can put some real thought into and know they will enjoy without breaking my budget. I am in the Christmas spirit, the lights, the warm feeling, the joy of giving but this weight of all the stress of making it happen is making me feel a bit crazed. I dont want to offend a family by not spending part of the holiday with them but they dont live in the same town. Or within a hour of eachother...and with the presents, thats just hard within itself!
    Did this happen to anyone else out there? How did you cope with it?

  • #2
    Re: My first christmas as an "adult"

    As you get older, this will be easier. The minute you stop focusing on pleasing everybody else you'll be a happier person. And that doesn't mean being selfish, it means fcusing your concerns on things that really matter. When you have different places to go based on new families, people understand. I used to try and make everyone happy and it made me unhappy. I hope this suggestion helps, after you deal with this stuff for a few years you'll understand.

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    • #3
      Re: My first christmas as an "adult"

      It does help, thank you. Everything seems so wierd though now, by having these desicions. I guess i will always be some what childish

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      • #4
        Re: My first christmas as an "adult"

        Originally posted by winder*wonder View Post
        It does help, thank you. Everything seems so wierd though now, by having these desicions. I guess i will always be some what childish
        Try to keep your heart like a child, not be childish.

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        • #5
          Re: My first christmas as an "adult"

          Originally posted by aashee View Post
          Try to keep your heart like a child, not be childish.
          ahh good correction

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          • #6
            Re: My first christmas as an "adult"

            You mentioned breaking the budget and such... You know that's one of the many reasons why I make my own presents. I would rather spend x amount of hours knitting each family member a pair of socks that keeps them warm.

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            • #7
              Re: My first christmas as an "adult"

              You really can't please everyone, and you'll just drive yourself crazy trying.

              Start off your new life by making your own rules. If that means you schedule visits with loved ones that may not happen on the actual day of the holiday, then so be it. They love you and will deal with it, right? They'd rather see you a day late and happy, than on the day and tired and miserable.

              IF you give in and do everything others request, then they will expect you to do it every year. Imagine yourself several years from now, maybe with a child or two, still hustling from place to place because now it's a tradition.

              Congratulations on a new, exciting life and happy holidays!

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              • #8
                Re: My first christmas as an "adult"

                Originally posted by winder*wonder View Post
                This marks my first year as an adult...I am moved out with my fiance, going to college, holding a good job and those things added up are nothing compared to the stress that this christmas is bringing me.
                What are you complaining about? Your life is better than a lot of other people's such as myself. I'm 30, a bachelor, educated but jobless thanks to the economy.

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                • #9
                  Re: My first christmas as an "adult"

                  You'll work it out, and if it means Christmas Eve with one set of parents and Christmas Day with another, then it's up to the families to take it or leave it. You could do breakfast with one group and dinner with the other, or whatever works best, and then switch it up the next year. Invite everyone to your house for dessert before/after the actual holiday. You have lots of options!
                  A signature should go here.

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                  • #10
                    Re: My first christmas as an "adult"

                    Originally posted by Barbossa View Post
                    What are you complaining about? Your life is better than a lot of other people's such as myself. I'm 30, a bachelor, educated but jobless thanks to the economy.
                    not complaining i am very thankful for i what have, i just meant it as being stressful at the time being

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                    • #11
                      Re: My first christmas as an "adult"

                      In our family I spend Christmas Eve with my husband's family. For years that meant that I didn't spend any time with my mom, or my siblings at Christmas. That was partially because I refused to leave the house on Christmas Day, especially when my boys were young. Then one year, we started a new tradition. We decided that on the Sunday before Christmas everyone, on my side of the family, would come to my house for a Christmas get together. We have been doing that for over 20+ years now. It's a pretty casual get together, but we always have a really fun time. I now have many Christmas memories and photographs of both sides of my family. I am so glad we did this, especially since my older brother and my mom are now gone. My dad died shortly after I married. I only wish that he had gotten at least one Christmas with his first grandchild.

                      Buying presents is fun, but it can definitely add to the stress of the holidays. Over the years, both sides of my family have done grab bag gifts, drawn names, and done the white elephant thing. Now, we tend to keep the gifts small. We make sure there are gifts for the little ones, of course. I am to the point that the gifts are nice but I just like getting together to talk, and laugh, and catch up, since I don't see family much.
                      BarbaraAnn

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                      • #12
                        Re: My first christmas as an "adult"

                        That's a good suggestion, too, Barbarann. In my family we draw names, so we only have to buy one gift. Just the little kids get presents from everyone else, and there's only 3 of them so far.
                        A signature should go here.

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                        • #13
                          Re: My first christmas as an "adult"

                          Originally posted by aashee View Post
                          Try to keep your heart like a child, not be childish.
                          This what I thinking also.....
                          I know Walt Disney said this many time.........
                          I think it is so wise......
                          Soaring like an EAGLE !

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: My first christmas as an "adult"

                            Originally posted by Barbossa View Post
                            What are you complaining about? Your life is better than a lot of other people's such as myself. I'm 30, a bachelor, educated but jobless thanks to the economy.
                            She's asking for advice, not complaining. Stuff can get overwhelming when you first get thrown out of the nest.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: My first christmas as an "adult"

                              Originally posted by aashee View Post
                              As you get older, this will be easier. The minute you stop focusing on pleasing everybody else you'll be a happier person. And that doesn't mean being selfish, it means fcusing your concerns on things that really matter. When you have different places to go based on new families, people understand. I used to try and make everyone happy and it made me unhappy. I hope this suggestion helps, after you deal with this stuff for a few years you'll understand.

                              aashee
                              This Statement is very good!
                              We all can learn fom this!
                              Soaring like an EAGLE !

                              Comment

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