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To day is not my day with deer.
Honestly.
I live in Monterey County. My partner works at a marine station here near the aquarium. There is a meadow there that a few deer graze. Next to the meadow is a bike path and walking area.
So, I'm walking my dog in this meadow and three deer come out of the bushes and start stalking us. They start doing the scrape the ground thing and the punch the floor thing with their hooves. So, yeah not docile like the cartoons, so I start to run Frodo, my dog, back to the car to get him away from the attacking deer. But while I did this, they're pretty much making ground towards us. So I stop, stamp my feet and throw rocks in their direction to scare them away. We're talking small, small rocks. Nothing lethal. The deer walk away, not too scared. I, on the other hand, was pretty shaken. These are huge animals.
Anyway, as I'm going to the car I hear a voice, "Excuse me. Excuse me!" I turn. An old lady on the walking trail with three poodles on leash stands there shaking her fist at me.
"Yes?" I ask winded. "Did you see that?! Oh my gosh."
"I saw it. Were you throwing rocks at those deer?"
"Heck yes."
"How would you feel if they threw rocks at you. Those poor deer."
"Lady, did you see them come at us?" I asked surprised.
"No. All I saw was some idiot throwing rocks at defenseless deer." She said. Her voice was raspy and shaky. She was truly mad. At me.
"Defenseless? Bring those poodles down here and see what happens."
"I should call the police on you." She said.
I caught my breath and just shook my head. I tried to think of something witty to say, but I came up blank.
"Go ahead and call them." I said.
"I will."
"And keep walking, I'm tired of this conversation." I said. (What kind of response was that?!)
Anyway, the police never came, some old lady is pissed with me and I was almost killed by Bambi and friends.
It's funny after the fact...
AND...
I go to Circuit City to buy 'Bambi'. I mean, it is a Disney masterpiece. So I discretely (I mean, come on... it is a movie about a deer, skunk and rabbit... all with eyelashes...not very butch...) go to the checkout counter. The kid behind the register broadcasts, "HEY! When you buy 'BAMBI' you get to take home a free box of MILKDUDS!"
I closed my eyes mortified. There was another idiot at a register next to him laughing... I already felt like I was buying tampons for the wife (you know like 'Mr. Mom') and this wasn't helping.
"Thanks." I said. "I don't want the candy."
"You have to, it's a package deal. Here grab one and I'll scan it."
I do so. He hands me my bag.
I grab my stuff and go to the guy that checks you out at the door. He looks at my receipt. I know this guy, he's a jokester. That's why they put him at the door. I saw it coming...
"BAMBI?!" He says loudly.
"Yes. 'Bambi'." I said. "You had to announce it."
"Lots of guys are buying 'Bambi' today. What's up with that?" He asked laughing. "Oh, well. Whatever floats your boat."
So, I overplay my hand and say in an obviously false way, "Uh yeah. It's for the kids."
"Riiiiight." He says.
I grab my bag and walk out.
"Now you have something to talk to your shrink about." He said.
"Wise ." I said so he could hear it.
Not my day with the deer...
Honestly.
I live in Monterey County. My partner works at a marine station here near the aquarium. There is a meadow there that a few deer graze. Next to the meadow is a bike path and walking area.
So, I'm walking my dog in this meadow and three deer come out of the bushes and start stalking us. They start doing the scrape the ground thing and the punch the floor thing with their hooves. So, yeah not docile like the cartoons, so I start to run Frodo, my dog, back to the car to get him away from the attacking deer. But while I did this, they're pretty much making ground towards us. So I stop, stamp my feet and throw rocks in their direction to scare them away. We're talking small, small rocks. Nothing lethal. The deer walk away, not too scared. I, on the other hand, was pretty shaken. These are huge animals.
Anyway, as I'm going to the car I hear a voice, "Excuse me. Excuse me!" I turn. An old lady on the walking trail with three poodles on leash stands there shaking her fist at me.
"Yes?" I ask winded. "Did you see that?! Oh my gosh."
"I saw it. Were you throwing rocks at those deer?"
"Heck yes."
"How would you feel if they threw rocks at you. Those poor deer."
"Lady, did you see them come at us?" I asked surprised.
"No. All I saw was some idiot throwing rocks at defenseless deer." She said. Her voice was raspy and shaky. She was truly mad. At me.
"Defenseless? Bring those poodles down here and see what happens."
"I should call the police on you." She said.
I caught my breath and just shook my head. I tried to think of something witty to say, but I came up blank.
"Go ahead and call them." I said.
"I will."
"And keep walking, I'm tired of this conversation." I said. (What kind of response was that?!)
Anyway, the police never came, some old lady is pissed with me and I was almost killed by Bambi and friends.
It's funny after the fact...
AND...
I go to Circuit City to buy 'Bambi'. I mean, it is a Disney masterpiece. So I discretely (I mean, come on... it is a movie about a deer, skunk and rabbit... all with eyelashes...not very butch...) go to the checkout counter. The kid behind the register broadcasts, "HEY! When you buy 'BAMBI' you get to take home a free box of MILKDUDS!"
I closed my eyes mortified. There was another idiot at a register next to him laughing... I already felt like I was buying tampons for the wife (you know like 'Mr. Mom') and this wasn't helping.
"Thanks." I said. "I don't want the candy."
"You have to, it's a package deal. Here grab one and I'll scan it."
I do so. He hands me my bag.
I grab my stuff and go to the guy that checks you out at the door. He looks at my receipt. I know this guy, he's a jokester. That's why they put him at the door. I saw it coming...
"BAMBI?!" He says loudly.
"Yes. 'Bambi'." I said. "You had to announce it."
"Lots of guys are buying 'Bambi' today. What's up with that?" He asked laughing. "Oh, well. Whatever floats your boat."
So, I overplay my hand and say in an obviously false way, "Uh yeah. It's for the kids."
"Riiiiight." He says.
I grab my bag and walk out.
"Now you have something to talk to your shrink about." He said.
"Wise ." I said so he could hear it.
Not my day with the deer...
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