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  • the laughing place

    hi guys
    wouldnt it be fun if we had a thread that we told jokes on... well this is it... we can exchange jokes and riddles
    yayy


    well... go ahead and remember... everybody's got a laughing place
    Last edited by migitmouse88; 03-11-2005, 03:05 PM.

  • #2
    A guy walks into a bar. He says, "OUCH."
    "She's taking everything. She's taking the house, she's taking the kid, she's taking the dog. IT'S NOT EVEN HER DOG. IT'S MY DOG! SHE'S TAKING . . . MY DOG!"
    - Ron Livingston, "Band of Brothers"

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    • #3
      Two parrots are sitting on a perch. One says to the other, "Does something smell fishy to you?"

      Two fish are swimming in a lake. One hits his head on a large cement wall and yells "Dam!"
      disneyphile@gmail.com

      Comment


      • #4
        A piece of rope walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve ropes here!" So the rope leaves.

        But he really needs a drink. So he loosens the threads at one of his ends, ties himself into a knot, and walks back into the bar.

        The bartender says, "HEY. Aren't you that piece of rope I tossed out of here a few minutes ago?"

        The piece of rope says, "Nope. I'm a frayed knot."
        "She's taking everything. She's taking the house, she's taking the kid, she's taking the dog. IT'S NOT EVEN HER DOG. IT'S MY DOG! SHE'S TAKING . . . MY DOG!"
        - Ron Livingston, "Band of Brothers"

        Comment


        • #5
          ^ BWUAHAHAHAHA that was great. I can really use this thread for my job this summer (telling jokes on a boat ride a la Jungle Cruise)

          Why do Seagulls fly over the sea?
          Cause if they flew over the Bay, they would be "bay"gels!
          "Tonight I wash my hands of you
          You set the bar I could not live up to
          Tonight the light is breaking through
          So thank you very little and send me postcards from hell"
          Zebrahead

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          • #6
            what do gay horses eat
            haaayyyy

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            • #7
              What did the farmer say when his dog fell off the cliff?

              Dog gone!
              Marge: Barnacle Bill's Home Pregnancy Test? Homer, shouldn't we have gone with a better-known brand?
              Homer: But Marge, this one came with a corn-cob pipe!
              Marge: [reading from the test box] "Ahoy, Maties! If the water turns blue, a baby for you! If purple ye see, no baby thar be!"
              Homer: So, which is it? Blue or purple?
              Marge: Pink.
              Homer: D'oh!
              Marge: "If ye test should fail, to a doctor set sail!"

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              • #8
                hey the great cuzco is here!

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                • #9
                  One day a blonde was driving down a country road when she sees another blonde in the field next to her in a rowboat trying to cross. The blonde after seeing this jumps outta the car and yells to the blonde in the rowboat, ITS BLONDES LIKE YOU WHO GIVE BLONDES LIKE ME A BAD NAME!!!!!, AND IF I COULD SWIM ID COME OVER THERE AND KICK YOUR BUTT!!!!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    One stormy night at a mental hospital, two patients were plotting their escape. They gathered all the equimpment they could find for their escape which was only the clothes on their back and a flashlight.

                    They managaged to sneak up on the roof, 10 stories up. They realized that freedom was just getting to the next building over. "It's too far to jump, what should we do?" one patient said.

                    So, they pondered for over an hour, getting quite annoyed with each other. "I got it!" the other finally said. "We'll use the flashlight!"

                    Perplexed, the one patient asked, "and how are we going to use the flash light to get accross to the other building genious?"

                    "WELL, You will turn on the flashlight, shine it over to the roof of the other building, and I will walk across the beam of light! THEN, you will toss me the flashlight and I'll shine it and then YOU can walk across the beam of light!".

                    The other patient grew quite angry at the idea. "THAT IS THE MOST STUPID IDEA I HAVE EVER HEARD!!!! YOU REALLY ARE CRAZY!!! As soon as I walk across the beam half way, you're just going to turn off the flashlight!"
                    Marge: Barnacle Bill's Home Pregnancy Test? Homer, shouldn't we have gone with a better-known brand?
                    Homer: But Marge, this one came with a corn-cob pipe!
                    Marge: [reading from the test box] "Ahoy, Maties! If the water turns blue, a baby for you! If purple ye see, no baby thar be!"
                    Homer: So, which is it? Blue or purple?
                    Marge: Pink.
                    Homer: D'oh!
                    Marge: "If ye test should fail, to a doctor set sail!"

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      So these two penguins walk into a bar. Which is funny cause the second one should have seen it.
                      Anything listed on the park maps as an attraction is fair game for inclusion in the Rally.
                      I cannot confirm nor deny the inclusion of any attraction in the Rally.



                      May the Gumballs Be with You...Always.

                      NO GOATS!

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                      • #12
                        Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married.
                        The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
                        Marge: Barnacle Bill's Home Pregnancy Test? Homer, shouldn't we have gone with a better-known brand?
                        Homer: But Marge, this one came with a corn-cob pipe!
                        Marge: [reading from the test box] "Ahoy, Maties! If the water turns blue, a baby for you! If purple ye see, no baby thar be!"
                        Homer: So, which is it? Blue or purple?
                        Marge: Pink.
                        Homer: D'oh!
                        Marge: "If ye test should fail, to a doctor set sail!"

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
                          Marge: Barnacle Bill's Home Pregnancy Test? Homer, shouldn't we have gone with a better-known brand?
                          Homer: But Marge, this one came with a corn-cob pipe!
                          Marge: [reading from the test box] "Ahoy, Maties! If the water turns blue, a baby for you! If purple ye see, no baby thar be!"
                          Homer: So, which is it? Blue or purple?
                          Marge: Pink.
                          Homer: D'oh!
                          Marge: "If ye test should fail, to a doctor set sail!"

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
                            Marge: Barnacle Bill's Home Pregnancy Test? Homer, shouldn't we have gone with a better-known brand?
                            Homer: But Marge, this one came with a corn-cob pipe!
                            Marge: [reading from the test box] "Ahoy, Maties! If the water turns blue, a baby for you! If purple ye see, no baby thar be!"
                            Homer: So, which is it? Blue or purple?
                            Marge: Pink.
                            Homer: D'oh!
                            Marge: "If ye test should fail, to a doctor set sail!"

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's
                              cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?"
                              "Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him." So he picks the dog up
                              and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says,
                              "I'm going to have to put him down."
                              "What? Because he's cross-eyed?"
                              "No, because he's really heavy."
                              Marge: Barnacle Bill's Home Pregnancy Test? Homer, shouldn't we have gone with a better-known brand?
                              Homer: But Marge, this one came with a corn-cob pipe!
                              Marge: [reading from the test box] "Ahoy, Maties! If the water turns blue, a baby for you! If purple ye see, no baby thar be!"
                              Homer: So, which is it? Blue or purple?
                              Marge: Pink.
                              Homer: D'oh!
                              Marge: "If ye test should fail, to a doctor set sail!"

                              Comment

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