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The Dog's Diary vs. The Cat's Diary (Another Funny One)

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  • The Dog's Diary vs. The Cat's Diary (Another Funny One)

    The dog's diary:

    7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!
    8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
    9 am - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
    Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!
    1 pm - Oh boy! My poop! My favorite!
    2 pm - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!
    3 pm - Oh boy! Sniffing butts! My favorite!
    4 pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
    6 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favorite!
    7 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite!
    8 pm - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
    9 pm - Oh boy! Tummy rubs! My favorite!
    11 pm - Oh boy! Sleeping! My favorite!

    The cat's diary:

    Day 183 of my captivity... My captors continued to taunt me with
    bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat,
    while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture.

    Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded - must try this at the top of the stairs.

    In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair - must try this on their bed.

    Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear in their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.

    There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More important, I overheard that my confinement was due to my powers of inducing "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

    I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured.

    But I can wait; it is only a matter of time before I get the sucker!

  • #2
    Re: The Dog's Diary vs. The Cat's Diary (Another Funny One)

    hahahaha Truer words never written down...great read!!

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    • #3
      Re: The Dog's Diary vs. The Cat's Diary (Another Funny One)

      finally someone speaks the truth!

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: The Dog's Diary vs. The Cat's Diary (Another Funny One)

        Good one!
        sigpic

        This has been a Filmways presentation dahling.

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        • #5
          Re: The Dog's Diary vs. The Cat's Diary (Another Funny One)

          ROFL you've been peeking in my living room window, I see

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