Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Great Truths ....

Collapse

Get Away Today

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Great Truths ....

    GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
    1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
    2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
    3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
    4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
    5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
    6) Don 't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
    7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
    8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
    9) Don 't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
    10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.



    GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
    1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
    2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
    3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
    4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
    5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
    6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.



    GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
    1) Growing up is mandatory; growing old is optional.
    2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
    3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
    4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
    5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
    6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
    7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.


    THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:

    1) You believe in Santa Claus.
    2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
    3) You are Santa Claus.
    4) You look like Santa Claus.



    SUCCESS:

    At age 4 success is . not peeing in your pants.
    At age 12 success is . having friends.
    At age 16 success is having a drivers license.
    At age 35 success is . having money.
    At age 50 success is . . . having money.
    At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.
    At age 75 success is . having friends.
    At age 80 success is . not peeing in your pants.

    Pass this on to someone who could use a laugh.

  • #2
    Re: Great Truths ....

    Many thanks for the laugh.
    BarbaraAnn

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Great Truths ....

      1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
      I understand, Cats don't like water.

      2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
      I don't understand

      3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
      I don't understand

      4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
      I don't understand

      5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
      I understand, Dogs eat anything.

      6) Don 't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
      I undersatnd, It'll ruin your haircut

      7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
      I don't understand

      8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
      I understand, It floats..i think

      9) Don 't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
      I understand, it is see-through.

      10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.
      I don't understand

      GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
      1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
      You cant raise a teen, you cant nail jello?

      2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
      I don't understand

      3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
      LOL!

      4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
      I don't understand

      5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
      I totally understand

      6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.
      I don't understand


      Anyways, Thanks for posting! I enjoyed reading!

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Great Truths ....

        Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.
        THat has to be the best

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Great Truths ....

          Many great truths..thanks for the post
          Mark

          Contribute to my Johari or start your own!!
          http://kevan.org/johari?view=MarkS01


          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Great Truths ....

            Originally posted by barfownz View Post
            2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
            I don't understand
            ) Boy, I do! I had really long hair when I was little, and could tell when it wasn't safe for my Mom to brush my hair! :lol: Angry Moms tend to yank their hairbrushes through the hair, it HURTS!

            Thanks for the funnies!
            "A bad day at Disneyland is better then a great day at work." ~ Max Fischer )


            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Great Truths ....

              I only just learned to not let the dog watch your food!

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Great Truths ....

                2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
                3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.

                I cant tell you how true these two are. As both a daughter,sister and as a mother.
                "I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it. "Groucho Marx

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Great Truths ....

                  4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
                  I guess I'm getting old. That was great, thanks

                  Ta Da!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Great Truths ....

                    :lol: Thanks for the looooooong Friday afternoon pick-me-up StitchTT6!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Great Truths ....

                      Originally posted by barfownz View Post
                      I understand, Cats don't like water.

                      I don't understand

                      I don't understand

                      I don't understand

                      I understand, Dogs eat anything.

                      I undersatnd, It'll ruin your haircut

                      I don't understand

                      I understand, It floats..i think

                      I understand, it is see-through.

                      I don't understand

                      You cant raise a teen, you cant nail jello?

                      I don't understand

                      I don't understand

                      I totally understand

                      I don't understand
                      When a person doesn't understand 12 out of 16 topics in a post, perhaps its best to not mention that fact. I'm just sayin.

                      Originally posted by Senator David Wu (D-OR)
                      Don't let faux-klingons send real Americans to war!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Great Truths ....

                        Originally posted by Hyperbole View Post
                        When a person doesn't understand 12 out of 16 topics in a post, perhaps its best to not mention that fact. I'm just sayin.
                        I'm just agreein. :thumbup:

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Great Truths ....

                          Originally posted by barfownz View Post
                          I understand, Cats don't like water.



                          I don't understand



                          I don't understand



                          I don't understand



                          I understand, Dogs eat anything.



                          I undersatnd, It'll ruin your haircut



                          I don't understand



                          I understand, It floats..i think



                          I understand, it is see-through.



                          I don't understand

                          GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:


                          You cant raise a teen, you cant nail jello?



                          I don't understand



                          LOL!



                          I don't understand



                          I totally understand



                          I don't understand


                          Anyways, Thanks for posting! I enjoyed reading!
                          So....you don't understand?

                          I don't understand....
                          sigpic

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Great Truths ....

                            When I first read it I read the second one as "WHne your Mom is mad at your dad, you can't baptize cats." Thanks they were funny.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Great Truths ....

                              Originally posted by EagleWings View Post
                              I only just learned to not let the dog watch your food!
                              Are your freakin kidding, that's like childhood 101

                              Originally posted by barfownz View Post

                              I don't understand
                              (x12)

                              I'm not surprised

                              :bang:
                              procrastibating

                              Comment

                              Get Away Today Footer

                              Collapse
                              Working...
                              X