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  • Sharing a room

    I'v avoided discussing this here, beacause every time i'm mad i seem to make a thread venting, and feel bad but can't take this anymore.
    I have been sharing a room with my twin brother, for 15 years now. Everything was cool until last year when we started fighting more, and developed different interests.
    I asked my mom if she would be willing to move her office (Just a room with her computer) into her studio (where she makes her handbags for her company) so we could each have our own room. She immediatly said no, deal with the situation.
    Since then, everythings gone downhill. I have been arguing with her and my brother for a few weeks straight now, and i'm not sure what else to do.
    Its terrible coming home from a crappy day at school, and wanting to be alone but having to share a room.
    Its terrible. Does anyone have any advice on what I should do? I realize i most likely am moving out in 3 or 4 years when i go to college, but I really don't want to deal with this that long.
    Thanks Everyone

  • #2
    Re: Sharing a room

    I really don't know what to tell you, as you have already asked your Mom, and have been turned down.
    I can tell you that I think you are right , you do need your own space. My husband has twin sisters and although they had a small house growing up, they always had personal space,which is important. I don't like the fact that twins get stuck sharing things, just because they are twins. You still need space to be on your own,
    Try to avoid being in the room apart from sleeping, at the same time as your brother, it should help with the fights.
    Good luck to you!

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    • #3
      Re: Sharing a room

      I wish I had some advice for you PVE! I was lucky and got to have my own room. My kids both have their own rooms, but keep saying they want to share a room and have bunk beds! (Don't know why, they fight like cats and dogs too!). Maybe you need to have a family meeting and get some feelings out in the open?

      I hate to be cliche and try and be a peacemaker, but if you aren't willing to fight and don't do it - it can pacify contention pretty quick. It will probably be miserable for a while though.
      sigpic
      Will trade husband for Disneyland and DCA Pins!

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      • #4
        Re: Sharing a room

        It may seem like it stinks now but years from now you'll with you only had to worry about sharing a room with your twin brother. Maybe you could talk to your mom about designated alone times. That's what we do with our boys. When my oldest comes home, he gets to be in his room alone without being bothered for about an hour. Funny thing is, after about 20 minutes he comes out because he's lonely. LOL... As for your mom and moving her computer, I would leave that alone for a while, try an alternative like I mentioned above and then maybe have a civil discussion with her later on about how you are trying to find a compromise because you want to keep your relationship with your brother on a good level and the room situation is drawing you apart. Ask her if she has any ideas because it's her house and has GREAT ideas for things. I wonder if by moving the computer to her home office if it becomes a business write-off or something like that??? I'm not familiar with that but I'm curious.. If it were to help her that way maybe it would be something she would consider. I know I'm not much help sorry.

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        • #5
          Re: Sharing a room

          I say keep asking!! you should have your own room, she has 2 rooms? she needs to give one up and let you have peace. I think every teen needs space and privacy.
          Heres to you gettign your own room some day soon!!!

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          • #6
            Re: Sharing a room

            How old are you? I know at least 15...
            "Pain is temporary, Film is Forever..."

            http://www.youtube.com/user/DisneyDude



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            • #7
              Re: Sharing a room

              Oh wait, nvm, I see you're15...Duh
              "Pain is temporary, Film is Forever..."

              http://www.youtube.com/user/DisneyDude



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              • #8
                Re: Sharing a room

                I know how that feels,

                I'm still sharing a room with my sister.

                I would say deal like i did but like my mom said when I asked her why sister couldn't move in with brother since they got along so well. "Different genders, and in the teens... it's not pretty."

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                • #9
                  Re: Sharing a room

                  What a tough situation pveticket. I remeber having to share a room with my brother when we were little kids, but thankfully we moved to a bigger place when I was 9.

                  What if you get a room divider or partition? It won't cut down on the noise, but maybe that would at least give you the feeling like you have your own space.

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                  • #10
                    Re: Sharing a room

                    I shared a room with my younger sister up until I was done with college and moved out (went to college locally). If your mom isn't going to let you swap rooms, all you can do is find ways to cope with it. My suggestion is rather than butting heads, try to avoid being in the same place with your brother -- find some other activity/space to occupy your time. If he's in the living room or out somewhere -- take that time to be your alone time in your room -- if he's in there and being annoying, take refuge in another part of the house. Seriously -- it does suck having to share a room, but it's better to avoid the arguments/fights. And this way, if you've gone out of your way to stop the conflict with your brother and he still keeps picking at you-- maybe your mom will take pity on you because you tried to resolve the issue peacefully, and maybe you'll end up with your own room after all.

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                    • #11
                      Re: Sharing a room

                      Originally posted by Hakuna Makarla View Post
                      I say keep asking!! you should have your own room, she has 2 rooms? she needs to give one up and let you have peace. I think every teen needs space and privacy.
                      Heres to you gettign your own room some day soon!!!

                      I disagree- no she doesn't need to give up a room. She is the mother. Its her choice, her rules. Unless PVETicket is paying rent, and at 15, I highly doubt it.

                      I shared a room with my sister until I moved out at as an adult. Learn to deal. Its all a part of growing up. Compromises need to be made. Work things out with your twin.
                      Fratsor Sister - Delta Mu Chi Alpha

                      ΔΜΧΑ

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                      • #12
                        Re: Sharing a room

                        Originally posted by Mouse princess View Post
                        I disagree- no she doesn't need to give up a room. She is the mother. Its her choice, her rules. Unless PVETicket is paying rent, and at 15, I highly doubt it.

                        I shared a room with my sister until I moved out at as an adult. Learn to deal. Its all a part of growing up. Compromises need to be made. Work things out with your twin.
                        Sorry I disagree with you. If mom has two rooms I really feel giving one up would be the best thing. Teens need privacy and if theres extra rooms in the house it would be awsome for mom to give one up. But I do agree with vilians fan, maybe if mom refuses to give one up then maybe a nice partition will make it bearable. ( you could make a nice one out of a large refridgerator box

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                        • #13
                          Re: Sharing a room

                          But the point is it is not an extra room. Its her office. She apparently works from home (or so I understood from the original post), so I can see her using an office.

                          I don't think keep asking your mom is good advice. I know if my mom said no to me regarding something, hounding her would only make it worse.
                          Fratsor Sister - Delta Mu Chi Alpha

                          ΔΜΧΑ

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                          • #14
                            Re: Sharing a room

                            Originally posted by Hakuna Makarla View Post
                            Teens need privacy and if theres extra rooms in the house it would be awsome for mom to give one up.
                            I just don't get this, why do teens need privacy? I shared a room with my sister from 7 years old until about 11, then again from 15 to 19, when I moved away for college. It was totally no big deal, sure we fought, but there was never truly a need to be completely alone, at home. If we felt like being alone, we'd go for a walk, or to the mall, or to the beach. We were both in band in high school, and you know what, we roomed together at band camp, it was just easier to be together than to try to share a room with someone else.

                            Besides, I don't have any privacy, and I'm the mommy, why should the kids get it? I don't get a room of my own, for only my things, I have to share with daddy, and he's much worse of a roommate than my sister ever was.
                            xo, Deanna

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                            • #15
                              Re: Sharing a room

                              I see both sides to this, and without knowing how needed the office is its hard to say which is right. My kids have their own rooms, and that was important to me because hubby and I had to share rooms growing up and we both hated it. But if we were to have another kid (which is NOT in the plans) then they would have to share, because well...we are out of rooms.

                              Hubby and I still have our own rooms of sorts, I have the offce and he has the garage (which is carpeted and set up more like a game room).

                              I know how hard it is but maybe try to find some other space in the house for your quiet time. And if it makes you feel any better, my nieces share a room with two other girls, so its four girls ages 6, 9, 11, 13 in two sets of bunk beds in one room. Thats going to be a LOT of fun in a few years!

                              A little piece of heaven

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