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College professor tries to Disprove God's existence
On the first day of Professor Joe King's Biology class he gave his standard introduction.
"This class will teach you about science," he said, letting his voice echo across the crowded lecture hall. "We will learn about the real origin of man as proved by scientists from across the world. Hence we will be discussing things that may contradict what some of you, the more religious of you, may believe."
He smiled. "In that vein," he said, "I will begin the semester by proving beyond a shadow of a doubt, that there is no God!"
There was a murmur across the lecture hall, but no one spoke louder than a whisper.
Professor King held up a single stick of white chalk. "If God really did exist, he wouldn't allow me, a scientist, to prove he doesn't exist, right?" The class looked at each other. They were confused.
"Look," said Professor King. "It's not that hard. If God really exists, he will stop this piece of chalk from breaking when I drop it."
There was a hush over the lecture hall. After a moment of basking in the silence, Professor King was about to drop the piece of chalk when a squeaking chair from the back of the room attracted his attention.
A young man stood up.
He slowly walked to the front of the lecture hall. He walked right next to the professor who was still holding the chalk in the air.
Someone coughed.
The young man punched Professor King in the face and said "That's for sleeping with my wife you son of a bitch!"
That young man grew up to be Richard Nixon!
"This class will teach you about science," he said, letting his voice echo across the crowded lecture hall. "We will learn about the real origin of man as proved by scientists from across the world. Hence we will be discussing things that may contradict what some of you, the more religious of you, may believe."
He smiled. "In that vein," he said, "I will begin the semester by proving beyond a shadow of a doubt, that there is no God!"
There was a murmur across the lecture hall, but no one spoke louder than a whisper.
Professor King held up a single stick of white chalk. "If God really did exist, he wouldn't allow me, a scientist, to prove he doesn't exist, right?" The class looked at each other. They were confused.
"Look," said Professor King. "It's not that hard. If God really exists, he will stop this piece of chalk from breaking when I drop it."
There was a hush over the lecture hall. After a moment of basking in the silence, Professor King was about to drop the piece of chalk when a squeaking chair from the back of the room attracted his attention.
A young man stood up.
He slowly walked to the front of the lecture hall. He walked right next to the professor who was still holding the chalk in the air.
Someone coughed.
The young man punched Professor King in the face and said "That's for sleeping with my wife you son of a bitch!"
That young man grew up to be Richard Nixon!
St. Elizabeth, Patron Saint of Themed parks. Protect us from break downs, long lines, and used gum. Amen. 
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