My daughter is moving out - empty nest syndrome

[Trac]

Oh boy the bomb has been dropped today - my 18 yr old is moving back to Maryland, on Dec 27 to live with her boyfriend and his family until next summer - then they are supposed to move back out to Albuquerque

She swears they will move out here - well, who knows

I've been a single parent my whole parenting life - this is tuff....

I have a 16 yr old at home and it will be a bit tougher on her I think

She's leaving her car here (well it's technically still my car since I hadn't transferred the title) so her younger sister will now have the car

BUT still - my first baby is leaving......Looks like I'll be getting a smaller place when I move back to So. Cal.

<big sigh> thanks for letting me cry on your shoulders

[sunnygirl]

Re: My daughter is moving out - empty nest syndrome

:squeeze: I can't imagine how hard this must be for you.

[QuietViolet]

Re: My daughter is moving out - empty nest syndrome

So sorry Trac... coming to the crossroads in life where you view yourself as an individual rather than as a part of a unit is tough. My mom recently moved away from me and I really had to come to terms with the fact that, even though I am still a part of the family unit I grew up with, life is changing and it is time for me to be on my own and see myself as an independent adult as well as the child of my parents..
It was hard on me because I had no choice, and I'm sure it was a hard decision for your daughter to make.
*hugs*

[Trac]

Re: My daughter is moving out - empty nest syndrome

It's extremely hard - I want her to know, which I told her multitude of times already, she has a home to come to - I'm always here and if she needs me out there I'll be there in a flash.

She's leaving all her stuff here (that means all that Harry Potter stuff she prizes will be boxed up) and she's leaving her cat with me

I just told her sister - and she jumped up and down saying yeah! So she goes on to say - I want her room, I'm going to clean out the car, we get to go out to sushi a lot - and I get more presents! Guess she's not as heartbroken as I thought she was - well it was her initial reaction, I'm sure that will change - she still doesn't have her drivers license and she needs to get a job to pay for insurance when she gets her license after the new year.

Still - yeah I'm bummed - my daughter tells me to go on a cruise now! Kids!!!!

[Disneyland Daddy]

Re: My daughter is moving out - empty nest syndrome

Hang in there.

My brother, sister and I all got married w/in 10 months of each other. My parents had COMPLETE and SUDDEN empty nest syndrome.....

[MsSarah]

Re: My daughter is moving out - empty nest syndrome

Hang in there, it'll be alright.

Plan: Follow & stalk them

[penguinsoda]

Re: My daughter is moving out - empty nest syndrome

:squeeze:

When my daughter was 18 she and one of her friends went to Disneyland and got jobs. She was still here part time, but was sleeping on peoples couches in Anaheim until she got a room mate. (We live two hours away.)

Once she actually moved to Anahiem I has to go thought the empty nest thing, but at least she was close enough I could visit and she could still come home once in a while.

Now she is living in North San Diego County with her fiance, so she's still close enough to visit, but she's now been accepted to Humbolt University in northern California and will be moving after the first of the year. So I guess now I get to go through my real empty nest syndrome since I won't be able to just run down for the weekend to see her...

The point is... I can relate to what you are going through, since I've sorta been there. But trust me.... your kids are your kids forever, and even if she's living somewhere else, she's still your baby forever, and knowing that she will always have a "home" to come back to no matter where you are will help to keep you connected. :squeeze:

[aashee]

Re: My daughter is moving out - empty nest syndrome

Good luck trac. Having a daughter that is close to being a teenager I truly feel for you. Make sure she knows you want to see her as often as possible. Love always finds its way home.

[DISNEYJUNKIE]

Re: My daughter is moving out - empty nest syndrome

Having 2 daughters myself I have been thru this and back again and thru it again and back. DD oldest left for college missed her so much but it was close enough for drive up and down the coast and I worried when she was on the road until she showed up at the front door. She decided it wasnt for her and came home again for awhile and then went back to socal for school again..got a good job and remained in LA for 4 years and visited frequently.DD number 2 decided to join her sister in LA and go to school..that one was hard the nest was really really empty and I cried for days. Both came home often which was good, then we moved further north they came they cried they were in shock that their "home" was changed. But they came. Both stayed in the LA area for 2 more years and dd #2 had my grandson (numerous trips up and down for the birth that took 3 weeks and was still early lol ), took several more trips to hold and cuddle the baby and at 15 days they brought him up here to meet everyone.DD#1 had alreay met him and was in the delivery room at his birth and attached to him big time by then. Next came a wonderful Christmas with everyone at my home then she moved with her fiance to New Mexico for 6 months that was hard ( I dont know what people did before email with pictures attached thank goodness I got daily updates and pics of my grandson) DD #1 still in LA and DD #2 and family end duty in NM and move back to LA with her family and they gets marrried at DLR and we made several trips up and down to see them and plan the weddding and to take the baby home with us while they went on the honeymoon. Then dd #1 gets a great job offer and returns to where she grew up the bay area which is so cool since she is less than 2 hours away. A few months later with a new 4 week baby in tow and 2 year old dd #2 and family move in with US! Her DH was separated from the airforce due to right sizing. So now on weekends we had DD, her DH, 2 babies and my DD#1 home most of the time, second DD cannot bear to not see the babies weekly. What a house full and table full at dinner. Now DD #1 is still less than 2 hours south and is here almost every weekend sometimes with friends and DD #2 and family live 3 minutes away. We have been thru it all, worst time when they were in New Mexico, 2nd worst time all of us living under one roof, best time:now daily when I see my grandsons! Its hard being a parent , I cant imagine not being able to get some word or words from them daily. I have always told the girls that even if they didnt feel like talking or had nothing to say , just drop a word on email even if its just "Hi" then I know they are alive and all will be right in my world.Oh did I mention my mother lived with us for the last 10 years of her life and I thank God for it, sometimes I was probably not the most gracious person about it but I wouldnt have changed it for the world. No we dont always get along 100% of the time ( really hairy with whole familys and babies in the same house , and try 3 generations of women in the same house I am amazed by DH survived) It will all change several times over your lifetime in and out and in again, and I know our families will someday change again but I do know that my dds have a wonderful sense of family and closeness and will pass that on to their children.When the tears settle and new lives begin all will be well .And then it will change again....

[Trac]

Re: My daughter is moving out - empty nest syndrome

Thanks guys - I think being across the country is really hard BUT I have to remember when I moved out of my parents home at 18 (yet I moved back, but then moved back out but this time to Europe, that is far!) I have to remember also that she has to make her way - I'm so concerned she'll make the same mistakes I made - and so far she is going that route - I really hope that I tought her enough to make smart choices and to be strong.

Youngest daughter and I will be moving back to Orange County next year - I'm hoping my oldest will be with me

[QuietViolet]

Re: My daughter is moving out - empty nest syndrome

Yeah.. the cross country thing really stinks. I don't like being far away from my family but it's all a part of growing up. No matter where she is, there are trains, planes, and automobiles...

[CaptainTeach]

Re: My daughter is moving out - empty nest syndrome

I feel for ya. I have a daughter in the Navy in Florida: I am in California. It just kills me to be without her nearby. But, I have learned to adjust, and we text message all the time. Thank God for modern technology: it helps to keep people close.