The "Disney Jokes" Thread

[Dan - Tasmic!]

I searched and found nothing like this. How about post your favorite Disney jokes that you heard. Please, keep it clean, people and Disney appropriated, about G - Rated!!

I'll go first:

1) Why can't Cinderella play soccer??

Spoiler

She's always runs away from the ball!!

2) Why did Snow White stand in front of the Photo Supply Company on Main Street??

Spoiler

Because someday her prints will come!

3) Why can't planes land where Peter Pan Lives

Spoiler

Because it is Never Never Land!!

[mouseinphilly]

Re: The "Disney Jokes" Thread

Meanwhile, what kind of car does Mickey Mouse's girlfriend drive?

Spoiler

A Minnie Van!

That one came from a Playhouse Disney promo.

And how does one catch Chip and Dale?

Spoiler

Climb like a tree and act like a nut!

Got that from one of littlecricket's videos.

[Disneyland Daddy]

Re: The "Disney Jokes" Thread

Q: Why is Cinderella such a lousy football player?

A: Because she has a pumpkin for a coach.

___________________________________

Q: Why is Snow White such a wonderful Judge?

A: Because she's the 'fairest of them all'.

[mouseinphilly]

Re: The "Disney Jokes" Thread

May we suggest putting the answers in a spoiler box, please. Thanks.

[Dan - Tasmic!]

Re: The "Disney Jokes" Thread

It's not necessary, only if you want to hide you answers and not reveal it yet.

[Kuzcochik]

Re: The "Disney Jokes" Thread

What do you call a pirate who skips school?

Spoiler

Captain Hook-y

*Pirate laugh* Yar har har!

I know more (we had a week when I worked at WDW where all we did was try to come up with Disney jokes)... my brain just went blank :P

[mouseinphilly]

Re: The "Disney Jokes" Thread

There have been a couple rather tasteless jokes on the board here in this thread, and needless to say they are/have been removed. Remember this rule of thumb...

"Please, keep it clean, people."

If this keeps up, Danny will likely ask someone to take this to the Litter Box.

[BassBone]

Re: The "Disney Jokes" Thread

Then I won't tell the one about Mickey and Minnie's divorce.

[mouseinphilly]

Re: The "Disney Jokes" Thread

Good point.

[FrumiousBoojum]

Re: The "Disney Jokes" Thread

So, the seven dwarfs were working in the mine one day and Doc turns to Grumpy and asks, "Could you hand me a pick-axe?" and Grumpy turns to him and says, "What do I look like -- a typewriter?"

[FrumiousBoojum]

Re: The "Disney Jokes" Thread

Goofy walks into a bar and says, "ouch!"

[FrumiousBoojum]

Re: The "Disney Jokes" Thread

How many Disney characters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Spoiler

One. Who'd you think this was -- The Weinstein Company?!

[FrumiousBoojum]

Re: The "Disney Jokes" Thread

Snow White, Cinderella, and Lilo were sitting at a table and Snow White says, "I think my prince is the greatest because he's so charming!"

Cinderella said, "Well, I think my prince is the greatest because he's so handsome!"

Then Lilo stands up and says, "Shut up and order the pizza, you crazy celebutantes! I'm hungry!"

[Cousin Orville]

Re: The "Disney Jokes" Thread

1.

Q. Guest "How many of you Imagineers does it take to change a light bulb?"

A. Imagineer "Does it have to be a light bulb?"

[Cousin Orville]

Re: The "Disney Jokes" Thread

Did you hear about the mice chatter who died online? He was left hanging by a thread!

[aashee]

Re: The "Disney Jokes" Thread

What's the differance between MiceChatters and Puppies?

Spoiler

Eventually puppies stop whining.

[mouseinphilly]

Re: The "Disney Jokes" Thread

That could be said about any internet chat room...

[FrumiousBoojum]

Re: The "Disney Jokes" Thread

What's Mickey Mouse's favorite cheese?

Spoiler

Colby.

[FrumiousBoojum]

Re: The "Disney Jokes" Thread

Alice was lost in the Tulgey Wood, just wanting to get home. She came upon a tree that had a sign on it pointing to the Mad Hatter to the east, Mad Tea Party to the west, and Mad Madame Mim to the north. Not sure where she should go, she just stood awhile in uffish thought. Suddenly, Cheshire Cat appeared in the trees, singing "Enter Sandman." "Excuse me," interrupted Alice. "I'm not wanting to be among something so mad... what direction do you recommend?" Cheshire Cat stopped singing, looked at her intensely and said, "How appropriate. You fight like a cow."

[CaptainTeach]

Re: The "Disney Jokes" Thread

Mickey, Goofy, and Donald all go to a foreign country, get into trouble, and are arrested. They are charged with espionage, and are set to be executed the next day.

So, being the leader, Mickey goes first. As they strap him into the electric chair, they ask him if he has any last words. He says, "Let it be known that I believe in the great values of my country, and that righteousness will overcome oppression!."

They throw the switch, and nothing happens. Awed by this turn of events, they immediately apologize, and release him.

Next is Donald. They offer him the same opportunity to speak, as they strap him in.

"You bet I have something to say!" said the scrappy duck. "All my life I have tried to do the right thing, in spite of my temper. I have made children laugh, I have raised my three nephews to be fine, outstanding young men. I have even suffered great indignation working for my Uncle Scrooge for only pennies a day, in order to give the old man a quality life in his final years. If there is any justice in the world, then let it show me mercy now!"

They throw the switch. Again, nothing happens. Greatly moved by the Duck's speech, and the apparent divine intervention, they release him, and give him their country's medal of honor instead.

Finally, it is time for Goofy. Adjusting the chair for his additional height, they ask him if he has anything to say.

"Yup." He said. "Ah shore do!"

Spoiler

Yuh ain't gonna electry-cute anybody iffin' yuh don't plug the derned thing in!"