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Relationships: Finding That "New Love" Feeling In An "Aged or Seasoned" Relationship

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  • Relationships: Finding That "New Love" Feeling In An "Aged or Seasoned" Relationship

    I hope this can be found well enough and that it's in the right forum area.



    I have an interesting question to ask my fellow micechatters that might get a pretty good discussion going here. It's one that might be asked on Dr Phil or Loveline, or any other advice forum.



    How do 2 people find that "new love" feeling in their "seasoned" relationship?


    So let me break that question down so those will know what I mean. First, by new love, (and some here may know exactly what I mean) is that feeling you get when you're first with someone. When the two of you hit it off so well, there's good chemistry, and you just can't stop thinking about the person. And you can't wait to see them again. This is often found in teen love, but a lot of adults experience it too.

    And what I mean by seasoned, is when two people have been together for quite some time. And this can be before or after marriage. So yes, this question applies to both those that aren't married yet, and those that have been married.

    Because once you get past that point of "new love" and the two people start to get "comfortable" with each other, their walls and their guards drop. The inside parts of them start to come out, those inhibitions that most people reflexively hide when they're trying to find a new person. And when two people get past that point, where they've been together for some time and their guards drop, whether they're married or not, their relationship can sometimes hit that rut where things start to go dull. Granted, not everyone experiences this. But there are those that do, and perhaps some of those are on here and would also like the answer to that question. It kinda goes along with the saying "How can 2 people spice up their love life?" But it's asked in a more broad way, focused on the beginning of a relationship.

    So, how does a couple find that new love feeling again, when they've been together for a long time?

  • #2
    Re: Relationships: Finding That "New Love" Feeling In An "Aged or Seasoned" Relations

    I was just reading about this very thing today in Cosmo and talked about it with my mom as well. When two people get past the "lovebird stage" either one of two things happens, both people get bored and don't try and the relationship fizzles OR both just realize that there is a more mature love that comes with a "seasoned" relationship and that just because you are no longer twitterpated, doesn't mean you aren't still in love.
    There are many things you can do to bring a little spark back. Go on date nights, do small special things for one another like you did in the beginning. Remember all the things that made it fresh and fun in the first place and reinstate those things.
    Romance and intimacy can play a big part in this also.


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    • #3
      Re: Relationships: Finding That "New Love" Feeling In An "Aged or Seasoned" Relations

      it really is the little things that bring that spark about imho

      dustin and i have been together for 17 years, but when he does something as simple as bringing home my fave kind of corn nuts as a little surprise it makes my heart just get all fluttery becuase it makes me realize that he loves me so much that he remembers a comment i made nearly 10 years ago about how much i love this one particular flavour, but i won't buy them for myself becuase i know how much he can't stand the smell of them

      yet about once or twice a year he brings me a pack of them, and even sits next to me while i eat them


      you should know your partner better than anyone else in the world, and little surprises like that make them realize how much you love them, and in turn how much they love you
      Will there be screams when the sun sets,
      -=Is It October Yet?=-


      Originally posted by Tinkermonkey
      elly is the ultimate nerdy girl. But she makes it sexy
      Originally posted by pratt55
      Elly is adorkable.







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      • #4
        Re: Relationships: Finding That "New Love" Feeling In An "Aged or Seasoned" Relations

        I've been with my BF for 7.5 years and that "new" feeling hasn't gone away yet.

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        • #5
          Re: Relationships: Finding That "New Love" Feeling In An "Aged or Seasoned" Relations

          My wife has a book called 1000 Ways To Be Romantic.

          Around Xmas time last year, I took it and was trying to read through some of it. One of the first couple of tips I actually did.

          It said to give her a dozen red roses and place one white rose within the center of them. And attach a note that reads something like "In every bunch there's one who stands out. And you are that one."

          She was touched, but I should've done it the other way around, dozen white roses with one red one. She likes the white ones better.
          Last edited by AidensDaddy; 05-03-2009, 07:31 PM.

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          • #6
            Re: Relationships: Finding That "New Love" Feeling In An "Aged or Seasoned" Relations

            I have been with my BF for two years tomorrow. It seems like we've been with each other for a lot longer though, and that "new love" feeling still hasn't gone away. I think that the "new love" feeling is just rejuvenated every time he does something small for me that I had mentioned a long time ago and perhaps even forgot about saying. We had considered getting married but a) we are both WAY WAY WAY (imho) too young, and b) we decided to wait at least 5 years just to see if that "seasoned" feeling will break us apart.
            "Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined." -Henry David Thoreau

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            • #7
              Re: Relationships: Finding That "New Love" Feeling In An "Aged or Seasoned" Relations

              You know...I used to wonder the same thing. The tingly feeling of that first kiss. The excitement of spending every moment together. And I wondered how you could bring that back to a 10 yr marriage.


              Then, my husband got deployed. TADA! That answered THAT question. haha. It's been four months, and we have another two to go. I suspect that all those tingles and all that excitement will be fresh and new again.



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              • #8
                Re: Relationships: Finding That "New Love" Feeling In An "Aged or Seasoned" Relations

                The tingly feeling of that first kiss.
                I still feel that every time I kiss my BF. it's not always the knock-your-socks-off fireworks every time, but it's pretty close.

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                • #9
                  Re: Relationships: Finding That "New Love" Feeling In An "Aged or Seasoned" Relations

                  Originally posted by aimster View Post
                  I still feel that every time I kiss my BF. it's not always the knock-your-socks-off fireworks every time, but it's pretty close.
                  Or the leg going up, bent at the knee, like in Princess Diaries?

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                  • #10
                    Re: Relationships: Finding That "New Love" Feeling In An "Aged or Seasoned" Relations

                    Just thinking about my first kiss with my husband makes me all warm and happy!
                    Good morning, son
                    In twenty years from now
                    Maybe we'll both sit down and have a few beers
                    And I can tell you 'bout today
                    And how I picked you up and everything changed
                    It was pain
                    Sunny days and rain
                    I knew you'd feel the same things...


                    sigpic

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                    • #11
                      Re: Relationships: Finding That "New Love" Feeling In An "Aged or Seasoned" Relations

                      Originally posted by NeverNeverland View Post
                      Just thinking about my first kiss with my husband makes me all warm and happy!
                      Everybody now! "Awwwww"

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                      • #12
                        Re: Relationships: Finding That "New Love" Feeling In An "Aged or Seasoned" Relations

                        You also need to remember love is different after a time, it matures and changes. you can still have that feeling, but you also have to realize things do get different. kids also change things. as long as she is your true love, and that your not looking for a " thrill a minute" then I would say you are maturing in your relationship. doing small things to make each other aware that your thinking of them goes a long way.
                        -------------------------------------------
                        I miss dole whips......... can someone mail me one??

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                        • #13
                          Re: Relationships: Finding That "New Love" Feeling In An "Aged or Seasoned" Relations

                          Everything is different. My grandparents on my mom's side would have been married 50 years if he hadn't died just a few months shy. But whenever you saw them together, you could see and almost feel the love they had, I think that's why she has such a hard time letting go of his death.

                          My other grandpa, he's 90 and still lookin. He is trying to find "that spark" with a lady. He even tried internet dating but got no hits.

                          My other set of grandparents, my step-grandpa, he'll do little things for her like leave a note with a smiley face for her, or write "I love you" on a piece of paper next to her meds. But she has good days and bad days, but she'll always know him and they laugh and tease each other like they were young.

                          I think it's just all about the little things, not the big, romantic gestures, that really stay with you.
                          Press today is so concerned with cool vs. not cool that they're starting to forget good vs. bad. I'm not sure I'll ever be "cool", but I will always tirelessly strive to be "great". - Josh Groban

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                          • #14
                            Re: Relationships: Finding That "New Love" Feeling In An "Aged or Seasoned" Relations

                            Originally posted by Mommyto4 View Post
                            You also need to remember love is different after a time, it matures and changes. you can still have that feeling, but you also have to realize things do get different. kids also change things. as long as she is your true love, and that your not looking for a " thrill a minute" then I would say you are maturing in your relationship. doing small things to make each other aware that your thinking of them goes a long way.
                            I agree. I love my husband SO much more than I did when we first married, or fell in love. He's my everything. I even get little butterflies in my stomach when I hear the phone ring...just the thought that it might be him. The love now is so much deeper, so.....intense, than I could have ever imagined.



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                            • #15
                              Re: Relationships: Finding That "New Love" Feeling In An "Aged or Seasoned" Relations

                              Originally posted by AidensDaddy View Post
                              My wife has a book called 1000 Ways To Be Romantic.

                              Around Xmas time last year, I took it and was trying to read through some of it. One of the first couple of tips I actually did.

                              It said to give her a dozen red roses and place one white rose within the center of them. And attach a note that reads something like "In every bunch there's one who stands out. And you are that one."

                              She was touched, but I should've done it the other way around, dozen white roses with one red one. She likes the white ones better.
                              *whispers* always remember never red!!! White, Yellow and Purple work!!

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