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and he does it again....


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  • and he does it again....

    So- for those who have been following the recent dramas of Cas and her band of merry screw ups- here is the latest chapter-

    Davis having blown the fragile trust by:
    ditching school
    taking up smoking again and lying about it
    not taking his meds and lying about it
    being hostile
    breaking a window
    stealing from his sisters piggie bank
    not coming home at night
    not calling home when he was out
    taking my dads coat, because the one he had wasn't cool enough and then lying about it
    along with various fights and verbal outbursts.....

    He had promised to change things- admitted to the things he had done, and said he was going to show we could trust him.

    I told him today and fall break were very important to take the chance to show us that he meant it-

    Today was going ok- but then....he decided to break into a locked room, and steal a BB gun. He was seen doing it, got into a fight with my mother- where he screamed that she hated him- among other distractions from the issue- and then he snuck back into the locked room and put the gun back.

    And lied about it- and lied about it- until finally the evidence overwhelmed his lies-

    There was no fight after that, no outbursts- but mom and dad don't even want him here anymore. I don't know how he can even begin to fix this. He is off all next week and mom doesn't want him at home because she would have to watch him like a 2 year old. More! So he may end up sitting in my car at work- because he would not be allowed in the office. (we are not a family friendly office anymore)and we are talking 10 hour days.

    I am not happy.

    I was on the phone with the social worker on call- who spoke with her supervisor who knows Davis (and has sat in on many meetings with him) and we decided to allow him to stay at a friends tonight. Which sucks cause he is grounded- but we need peace too.

    He has an appt with his therapist tomorrow morning- which should be interesting- then he better spend some time SHOWING me a change. I don't know what will happen on Monday when I finally get to (hopefully) talk with his PO and social worker.

    I am so burned out- I hope they have more help for me than usual. He also has an appt to check his meds on the 25th- maybe he needs something new.


  • #2
    Re: and he does it again....

    I know what you need.

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    Guest: "On stun?"
    BF: "Maybe....."
    Me: "I wouldn't trust him."


    • #3
      Re: and he does it again....

      I actually am new to the drama (haven't seen the previous stories), but I'm so sorry you are going through all of this. When things get tough like this it seems like it will never end and that things couldn't get worse and suddenly they do! But things will start to get better, maybe really slowly, but they will improve. You just have to hold on until then. So lean on all of us until that happens. I also believe that praying also helps too, but that depends on how you feel about it. Hang in there!


      • #4
        Re: and he does it again....

        Oh, Nephy, I'm so sorry to hear this. I'm sure you feel like this::bang:

        Hang in til Monday and hopefully there will be some more help for you. :ghug:In the meantime, love the heck out of the other kids so you don't make yourself crazy over all of this. It's not you, it's him.

        Hey, was Davis difficult as a baby? You know, how some moms say "he never wanted to be held" or "he's always been fussy"? Just curious.
        A signature should go here.


        • #5
          Re: and he does it again....

          nope- he was an easy he's a crazy teenager.


          • #6
            Re: and he does it again....

            I do think that at one point he will break out of this. I give you a lot of credit Neph. Just stick in their.


            • #7
              Re: and he does it again....

              Neph - you are an amazing woman.
              You are standing strong and working to find answers. I can tell in no uncertain terms that you love your kids and are doing everything you can to build a good life for them.!
              Hold strong until you can find more help.

              :squeeze: I wish I had more to offer!


              • #8
                Re: and he does it again....

                Honey, it always breaks my heart when I read about your troubled son. I know that you have considered all sorts of solutions. Have you given much thought to military academy? He seems to have hostility issues, and no one is better at controlling that than the military.

                The other advantage is that he would be away from home (safer for you and the rest of your kids). Perhaps it would teach him some respect and make him appreciate the time he has with you a little more.

                I'm not the one in the situation, so please don't take my comments as anything other than a possible suggestion. Big hugs doll. One way or another, you'll find a solution. I know you will.

                MiceChat 101: Be NICE! If you don't play well with others, you are in the wrong sandbox.

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                • #9
                  Re: and he does it again....

                  I agree with Dusty's suggestion.

                  I'm not aware of the financial situation in your case but I know from experience how a military academy helped a good friend of mine and especially her "problem" son.

                  Maxie, a single mom with an only child, owned a very successful travel agency in Anaheim for many years. As a working mom her son had a lot of time on his own and got into some serious trouble. Without family to fall back on and at the end of her rope she pulled him from the public school system and placed him in St. Catherine's Military Academy in Anaheim. A top notch school for many years (Marlon Brando placed a problem son in it) he gained self respect, an appreciation for others and turned into a good husband, father and businessman.

                  I can only imagine what you are going through and the affect this is having on the younger ones. It's fortunate that you have the back up and support of your parents. All the best!
                  "America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between." Oscar Wilde


                  • #10
                    Re: and he does it again....

                    I was thinking about a military academy too dusty, but the question is how long after he leaves the camp, will he return back to the way he was before he entered (Not saying that it will happen, but what if it does)?


                    • #11
                      Re: and he does it again....

                      Nephy, hugs again.

                      Just military school brochures scared my husband straight when he was younger. He was a problem child for a few years after his father passed away at age 8. My MIL started looking to schools and my husband promised my MIL right then and there to be good and he did.


                      • #12
                        Re: and he does it again....

                        Hate to sound like a broken record, but I agree with those who have suggested a military academy. They'll break him of his evil ways before you know it, he'll be a new boy. I'm so sorry you're dealing with all this right now. :squeeze:
                        Looking for the truth about giraffes?


                        • #13
                          Re: and he does it again....

                          aww Nephythys im sorry you have to go threw with this my big brother well i dono he was always difficult i have t o agree maybe millitary school chould be an annsear but then its only a suggestion im sorry to see u going thru this big hugs to you
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                          • #14
                            Re: and he does it again....

                            Neph also try to find out who your son hangs out with at school and when you are not around. Try to figure out what those people are like. Chances are if you met them, they may be completely different when you are not around and they may be putting peer pressure on your son.


                            • #15
                              Re: and he does it again....

                              I can't afford military school guys- check my dying thread for that discussion. *sigh*

                              Though I appreciate the idea- because it may make a difference, but it just is not going to happen right now.

                              The problem is that he has violated his probation...possibly too often to avoid going back to court. I feel heart broken because he was doing so so well- and he has thrown it all away.

                              Right now he is in my car- Mom and Dad don't want him in the house if I am not there. So he is alseep in the car- has books, my Gameboy and some water and a cup. I will have to bring him food later-I can't bring him into the office. Management would have a fit.

                              I just spoke to his PO- and from her attitude she seems to be on board the notion of him going back to treatment- but it's not her call- we have to get social services to pay for it....and I just have my doubts. Otherwise she can start the ppwk to take him back to court- which is just killing me, because it is such a waste....what he has done.....

                              I have a feeling today is not going to be such a great day.


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