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  • The Marriage Advice Thread

    My hubby and I are both soldiers and will be married 2 years pretty soon. But thanks to back to back tours during those 2 years, we have only spent a few weeks together. Well we're both finally going to be home!

    I am so excited to be finally living togther, but I'm a little overwhelmed too! So what's the best marriage advice you've got?
    WDW '82 '90 '94 '99 '01 '04 '09x2 '10
    DLR '05 '06 '08 '13

  • #2
    Re: The Marriage Advice Thread

    Love, , its all you need. Patience, and understanding that he and you have been thru so much, and also have fun!! Do not go directly into the routine of marriage, date, get to know each other as friends, lovers and soul mates. If you can come back, have fun, date and be free to do so you will be in that frenzy of love again. I am so happy for you, this is the man you are spending your life with, have fun and relax. Take care and thank you for serving our country!!! If I could hug you both I would

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    • #3
      Re: The Marriage Advice Thread

      It sounds silly, but don't go to bed mad. If there is an issue, make sure it is resolved before the day is over. Its hard, but talk through it while the feelings are still fresh because if you let an issue just hang there, it breeds resentment, which is NEVER good for a marriage.
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      • #4
        Re: The Marriage Advice Thread

        Communicate-verbally or written.

        One of the best things I have heard and have implemented in my life is when a loved one comes home from work everyday or even from a night out on the town with friends (which everyone needs a little time with without spousey around) for 10 minutes let the other person be able to talk about their day. Undivided attention. No phone, no kids, no computer, no TV. While they are undressing out of their work clothes and into some home clothes is a perfect time. Talk about not just about their workday but something that has been on your mind.

        You have to get to know them again. Being away for most of the 2 years as your tours dictated, you need to find each other again. Rekindle the romance so to speak and rebuild the friendship.
        :love: Always keep smiling because you never know who is falling in love with it.:love:
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        • #5
          Re: The Marriage Advice Thread

          Originally posted by dizzydisneydee
          Communicate-verbally or written.

          One of the best things I have heard and have implemented in my life is when a loved one comes home from work everyday or even from a night out on the town with friends (which everyone needs a little time with without spousey around) for 10 minutes let the other person be able to talk about their day. Undivided attention. No phone, no kids, no computer, no TV. While they are undressing out of their work clothes and into some home clothes is a perfect time. Talk about not just about their workday but something that has been on your mind.

          You have to get to know them again. Being away for most of the 2 years as your tours dictated, you need to find each other again. Rekindle the romance so to speak and rebuild the friendship.
          Great advice. Not sure I should be posting here (sorry gals), but I couldn't resist. Every marriage is different, but some things are common. Don't put pressure on where you are - let things happen. Like Dizzy says, make time to communicate. Everyone has irritating things about them; don't focus on them. Look at the good stuff, and communicate about EVERYTHING.

          Be your lover's best friend and the rest will take care of itself. If you find that you need something, give extra, and what you need will take care of itself!
          "Search the boat...."
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          • #6
            Re: The Marriage Advice Thread

            Oh yeah! Thank yourself and your honey for serving in the military. My heart-felt thanks to you and yours. :bow:
            :love: Always keep smiling because you never know who is falling in love with it.:love:
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            • #7
              Re: The Marriage Advice Thread

              Originally posted by dizzydisneydee
              Oh yeah! Thank yourself and your honey for serving in the military. My heart-felt thanks to you and yours. :bow:
              Ditto :clap:

              Thanks so much for serving our great country :bow:

              As for the marriage advice.... After 9 years DH and I have NEVER gone to bed mad at each other. Honesty is the best policy and always say "I love you" ... It takes a lot of work but its worth it :love:
              ~~~:ap:~~~

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              • #8
                Re: The Marriage Advice Thread

                I've been married now for three years and we've been together for seven. Here are some things I've learned:

                *) When one of you is angry about something--that's not what is bothering you. If you blow up because he is blocking you in on the driveway--stop, think and figure out what REALLY is bothering you. Bad day at work? Didn't get to go Disney when you wanted? Something to that effect.

                *) I HATE "don't sweat the small stuff" books. They are pure rubbish, designed to sell. However, the sentence itself, "don't sweat the small stuff"? Well, THAT is a good sentence. He burned dinner again. Is it worth arguing? You've not seen him in two years! It is all small stuff, isn't it?

                *) Remember, being together and BEING TOGETHER are two different things. You can go to the gym at the same time, but you don't have to sit next to each other. Right now, my betrothed is sitting in the living room watching tele. I'm in here. We chatter, but I don't have to be hanging on him all the time. But I don't want to be far away. Just knowing he's in the house just makes me feel better.

                *) Be with other couples and see how they are doing and discuss it. Cheaper then therapy.

                *) Fights are okay, believe it or not. It's how you handle them. Two people have two different opinions. As long as nothing is broken and no one is hit or hurt--you can have decent arguments without abuse of anything. Just remember what DQ, I believe, said--don't go to bed angry.

                *) Relationships that work ARE work. You can't just expect things to happen. YOu want to stay together? Work on being together. You want to be loved, work on being lovable. No one just got married and sat there.

                *) Have fun. That's why you marry your best friend. At least, that's what I did.

                And thanks for serving this country, both of you.

                Peace,
                Roo

                PS: I just realized this is in the girls' forum and I'm a guy. Still, sorry, but like NZ, I couldn't help myself.
                husband, petowner, wordsmith, imagineer, martialist, playwright, traveller, ardent, wit, critic, barista, Taoist, superhero, fortuneteller, reader, fidget, teacher, dreamer, author, blogger, ghosthunter, voter, patient, bear, gourmand, Floridian, friend

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                • #9
                  Re: The Marriage Advice Thread

                  the not going to bed mad advice is spot on!
                  We have stayed up all night on occasion because I firmly believe this.

                  and just remember, you married one another for a reason, you love each other.

                  Relax, have fun it will all fall into place very soon. However said to date each other again, has it perfect... nothing is quite as romantic as being courted by your husband :love:
                  procrastibating

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                  • #10
                    Re: The Marriage Advice Thread

                    Originally posted by Tinkerbelle
                    ... nothing is quite as romantic as being courted by your husband :love:
                    Or being courted by your wife. Remember it really does work both ways.
                    :love: Always keep smiling because you never know who is falling in love with it.:love:
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                    • #11
                      Re: The Marriage Advice Thread

                      Originally posted by hoppypooh
                      My hubby and I are both soldiers and will be married 2 years pretty soon. But thanks to back to back tours during those 2 years, we have only spent a few weeks together. Well we're both finally going to be home!

                      I am so excited to be finally living togther, but I'm a little overwhelmed too! So what's the best marriage advice you've got?
                      Congratulations! It will be like your honeymoon all over again!

                      Remember, he is Your Best Friend! Communication is key, mutual respect, choose your battles (don't be nit-picky over little stuff - socks on the floor, toilet paper backwards - that stuff is not worth an argument), honesty, build him up, protect each other, love, love, love....

                      Thank you both for serving our Country! God Bless you both!

                      MeiMei
                      Boo!

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                      • #12
                        Re: The Marriage Advice Thread

                        Be best friends.

                        Cultivate common interests, but keep some time for yourself (and he for himself). Together is good, but there are times to be separate, too. My hubby kept coming to things that he hated, just because he thought we were supposed to be together.

                        Always say I love you.

                        Always remember you choose to be together. Never lose sight of that. Never take each other for granted.

                        Congratulations on finally getting to live together!
                        I pledge allegiance to the Earth, one planet, many gods, and to the universe in which she spins.

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                        • #13
                          Re: The Marriage Advice Thread

                          Congrats!!! And thanks for serving our country now take some precious time to yourselfs.
                          After being married 30 years I have learned to have a good marrige there are lessons that sometimes are hard learned.
                          Communication and listening are important, its a two way street each has to communicate, speak up, your partner is not a mind reader and cannot second guess what you are thinking.
                          Pick you battles, there will be some important ones believe me! Let the little stuff go as said before by others in this thread!
                          Be one anothers best friend and cultivate that friendship. When all is said and done and future children are raised and move on , you will find yourself once again alone together!
                          There will be obstacles that will still linger in the morning or the next week but they are just that, little road bumps in life and they will get resolved if you keep in mind why you married this person who seems like an alien at the time and just love them for who they are thats why you married them.

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                          • #14
                            Re: The Marriage Advice Thread

                            I'm not married...(imo it's overrated...I did it once...LOL)...however I have been with my BF for 11 years and we have lived together for most of that...except for the first 4 to 6 months in the beginning. We have our own lives. We do alot of things apart and we do some things together. I can tell him anything. he is my best friend and patience is required. We both require alot of alone time so we have computers on seperate ends of the house. We also have our own rooms (because he snores) and our own bathrooms. Alot of people would not like this arrangement, but it works great for us.


                            and the poster above has great advice. communication is key and trust.

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                            • #15
                              Re: The Marriage Advice Thread

                              Best advice given to me.... Don't do it in the first place.

                              Oogie (who has been married, and that was for 8 hours)
                              Growing older is manditory
                              Growing up is however, optional

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