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Hormone Hostage


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  • Hormone Hostage

    My mom sent me this today. I don't know where she found it , but I love it!

    Here it is:

    The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands. This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband , boyfriend, or significant other.

    Dangerous : What's for dinner?
    Safer : Can I help you with dinner?
    Safest : Where would you like to go for dinner?
    Ultra safe : Here, have some chocolate.

    Dangerous : Are you wearing that?
    Safer : Wow you look good in brown!
    Safest : Wow look at you!
    Ultra Safe : Here, have some chocolate.

    Dangerous : What are you so upset about?
    Safer : Could we be overreacting?
    Safest : Here's my paycheck.
    Ultra safe : Here, have some chocolate.

    Dangerous : Should you be eating that?
    Safer : You know there are a lot of apples left.
    Safest : Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
    Ultra safe : Here, have some chocolate.

    Dangerous : What did you DO all day?
    Safer : I hope you didn't overdo it today.
    Safest : I've always loved you in that robe.
    Ultra Safe : Here, have some more chocolate.

    Things PMS stands for:

    pass my shotgun
    psychotic mood shift
    perpetual munching spree
    puffy mid section
    people make me sick
    provide me with sweets
    pardon my sobbing
    pass my sweatpants
    plainly men suck
    pack my stuff
    potential murder suspect

  • #2
    Re: Hormone Hostage

    hahaha that is great and here i go to fwd it to my friends
    "I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it. "Groucho Marx


    • #3
      Re: Hormone Hostage

      HAHA that is GREAT!!! I think I'm finding that extreamly funny right now because I am currently hostage to evil cramps and headaches. Argh. Thanks for making me laugh!


      • #4
        Re: Hormone Hostage

        heehee...I'm sending that to hubby!!!


        • #5
          Re: Hormone Hostage

          Oh man, Buttercup I loved this, and I know when I was married he never learned to " be safe" :lmao: I am sending this to my sister!!


          • #6
            Re: Hormone Hostage

            Too funny!
            Visit the Hamand Family Blog to see what we've been up to.


            • #7
              Re: Hormone Hostage

              LOL I sent it to my hubby and he thought it was funny too! My favorite two lines: "Here's my paycheck!" and "You 've always looked great in that robe!":lol:


              • #8
                Re: Hormone Hostage

                :lmao: This is great!! I need to print this one out!

                Help me get more security in Pingvinivlle! Click here!

                Originally posted by AGhostFromThePast
                all you need to know about the mommy stick is.. out of all the bad things that could happen to you... it's right between wetting yourself and death.


                • #9
                  Re: Hormone Hostage

                  ) :lol: :lmao:

                  Thanks for the laugh, PB!


                  • #10
                    Re: Hormone Hostage

                    I must confess I had an episode about 2 weeks ago and I wish i could blame pms...LOL

                    bf has steak out on counter

                    me...why is that out when I'm cooking dinner

           didn't say you were cooking dinner..

                    me ...well, I am...I put steak in fridge

                    bf...TY for putting the steak up.

                    me...are you being sarcastic??

                    bf...gets totallt confused look on his face

                    me...what? I'm sorry...was I being bitcy....LOL


                    • #11
                      Re: Hormone Hostage

                      That's pretty good!
                      :yea: Its Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!


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