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Inland Empire Barbies


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  • Inland Empire Barbies

    I received an email from my friend about Mattel releasing special Inland Empire Barbies that just made me laugh. Although this will only make sense to anyone who lives in Southern California, especially in the Inland Empire.

    Rancho Cucamonga Barbie: This princess Barbie is sold onlyat Victoria Gardens. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey and a cookie-cutter house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented version.

    Upland Barbie:
    The modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Wind star Minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately.

    Pomona Barbie:
    This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable bills) unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.

    Chino Hills Barbie:
    This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.

    Fontucky Barbie:
    This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR t-shirt and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Bud light and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's butt when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.

    Hesperia Barbie:
    This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased beer-gutted Ken out of FontuckyBarbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter-top. Also available with a mobile home.

    Claremont Barbie:
    This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her Willow. She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free. These barbies love to hang out with included protest banners on Arrow and Indian Hill.

    San Bernardino Barbie:
    This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional accessories include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his 1979 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant.

  • #2
    Re: Inland Empire Barbies

    Hey, what about Riverside Barbie?
    Don't torture yourself, Gomez. That's my job.


    • #3
      Re: Inland Empire Barbies

      OMG!!!! this is FUNNY!!!!!
      Katie :yea:
      Founding member of the BA I LOVE us!!!
      :sc: FIGHT ON!!!!!!


      • #4
        Re: Inland Empire Barbies

        what no east l.a barbie??

        Orlando doing good
        Princess of Randomness


        • #5
          Re: Inland Empire Barbies

          Originally posted by Morticia View Post
          Hey, what about Riverside Barbie?
          Guess it was only for area code 909?


          • #6
            Re: Inland Empire Barbies

            "Tonight I wash my hands of you
            You set the bar I could not live up to
            Tonight the light is breaking through
            So thank you very little and send me postcards from hell"


            • #7
              Re: Inland Empire Barbies

              Looks like they forgot Palm Springs Ken, who owns a dress store
              and his "roommate" Kevin.
              Critter Country's a mess ev'r since the Country Bears were kicked out. Ya can't cover pooh with honey and 'spect people ta like it.
              An Adventurers It's Time to Put the Spotlight Back on Bring Back the REAL Disney Gallery
              Life for Me! ~ ~ ~ Melvin, Buff, and Max!!! ~~~~ Dump the Dream Suite!
              Meese-ka Moose-ka Mice-Chatter!


              • #8
                Re: Inland Empire Barbies

                Where's Corona Barbie?? Norco Barbie?

                These were too funny!


                • #9
                  Re: Inland Empire Barbies

                  Very funny!!


                  • #10
                    Re: Inland Empire Barbies

                    That was hilarious. :roll:
                    Looking for the truth about giraffes?


                    • #11
                      Re: Inland Empire Barbies

                      OMG......that was to funny. And I agree..they need a Corona Barbie and a Norco Barbie.:lmao:
                      HEARTS CLUB !!


                      • #12
                        Re: Inland Empire Barbies

                        That was great! But, some folks may be just a little offended, maybe just a little.

                        Funny stuff (unless you live in the wrong place)


                        What is, is... What is not, is not.


                        I don't ask for much... Just a few little things!

                        Extra effort yields extraordinary results!


                        • #13
                          Re: Inland Empire Barbies

                          My friend sent me something similar with Texas Barbies ... she needs to see this one though.


                          • #14
                            Re: Inland Empire Barbies

                            Good stuff!!!! :lol:


                            • #15
                              Re: Inland Empire Barbies

                              Originally posted by Experiment626 View Post
                              Guess it was only for area code 909?
                              So glad I live in the 951 now!

                              The stereotypes are so funny! My husband got this email at work too.
                              Anything listed on the park maps as an attraction is fair game for inclusion in the Rally.
                              I cannot confirm nor deny the inclusion of any attraction in the Rally.

                              May the Gumballs Be with You...Always.

                              NO GOATS!


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