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Clues For Women To Tell If They've Had A Little Too Much To Drink

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  • Clues For Women To Tell If They've Had A Little Too Much To Drink

    1. I have absolutely no idea where my purse is.

    2. I believe that dancing with my arms overhead and wiggling my butt while
    yelling "WOO-HOO!" is truly the sexiest dance move around.

    3. I've suddenly decided I want to kick someone's *** and honestly believe I
    could do it too.

    4. In my last trip to the toilet, I realize I now look more like a homeless hooker than the goddess I was just four hours ago.

    5. I drop my 3:00 a.m. submarine sandwich on the floor (which I'm eating even though I'm not the least bit hungry), pick it up and carry on eating it

    6. I start crying and telling everyone I see that I love them sooooo much.

    7. I get extremely excited and jump up and down every time a new song plays
    because "Oh my God! I love this song!"

    8. I've found a deeper/spiritual side to the geek sitting next to me

    9. The man I'm flirting with used to be my 5th grade teacher.

    10. The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a table and sing or
    dance becomes strangely overwhelming.

    11. My eyes just don't seem to want to stay open on their own so I keep them half closed and think it looks exotically sexy.

    12. I've suddenly taken up smoking and become really good at it.

    13. I yell at the bartender, who (I think) cheated me by giving me just
    lemonade, but that's just because I can no longer taste the gin.

    14. I think I'm in bed, but my pillow feels strangely like the kitchen floor

    15. I start every conversation with a booming, "DON'T take this the WRONG WAY but..."

    16. I fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when I sit on it.

    17. My hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves.

    18. I'm tired so I just sit on the floor (wherever I happen to be standing) and take a quick nap.

    19. I begin leaving the buttons open on my button fly pants to cut down on the time I'm in the bathroom away from my drink.

    20. I take my shoes off because I believe it's their fault that I'm having problems walking straight.

    21. Who's bed is this? KaBoom... ZzZZzZ
    "America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between." Oscar Wilde

  • #2
    Uh oh. Some of those are not good signs for me...

    And just for the record- sometimes #'s 10 & 16 have nothing to do with alcohol intake!
    �In a world filled with hate, we must still dare to hope. In a world filled with anger, we must still dare to comfort. In a world filled with despair, we must still dare to dream. And in a world filled with distrust, we must still dare to believe.� -Michael Jackson


    Comment


    • #3
      Sadly, all true

      But the one I've read before had #5 as burrito
      which I know is much easier to track down in those
      glory hours!
      "If you don't know how to draw, you don't belong in this building" - John Lasseter 2006

      Comment


      • #4
        3. I've suddenly decided I want to kick someone's *** and honestly believe I
        could do it too.
        I feel that way when I'm stone cold sober. I need to haul out the can of whoop-*** soon.... I'm itchin' for a good whoopin'.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by desertdweller
          9. The man I'm flirting with used to be my 5th grade teacher.
          :lol: :lol: :lol: :bow: :bow: :bow: :lol: :lol: :lol:
          Originally posted by drunkmom
          this is my first buzzed post in the DMCA -- I'm really in this club because I'm a bitch more than anything. I've only had to hit the backspace 4 (oops, make that 5) times in (now 7) in this (now 9) (now 15) in this post! Damn, now I'm up to 18! Our neighbors were (19) (20) making tequilla sunrises. I thought I couldn't do tequilla (22) anymore but (24) this stuff (26) was good! It started (27) with an s


          Comment


          • #6
            :lol: oh so very true!! :lol:
            Good morning, son
            In twenty years from now
            Maybe we'll both sit down and have a few beers
            And I can tell you 'bout today
            And how I picked you up and everything changed
            It was pain
            Sunny days and rain
            I knew you'd feel the same things...


            sigpic

            Comment


            • #7
              Honestly... I think pretty much all of them apply to guys too.
              "Yesterday, a man walked up to me and said, 'Isn't it a shame that Walt Disney couldn't be here to see this?' and I said, "He did see this, that's why it's here."
              -Art Linkletter July 17, 2005-


              When you wish upon a star your dreams come true.

              Comment


              • #8
                Uh oh. Someone's been watching and taking notes....

                I totally needed this laugh. Thanks desertdweller!
                I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it.
                That explains the trouble that I'm always in...
                sigpic

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Jennidisneyfer
                  Uh oh. Someone's been watching and taking notes....

                  I totally needed this laugh. Thanks desertdweller!
                  You read my mind.

                  DesertDweller, were you in Old town Sacramento the weekend before Thanksgiving, cause it sure seems like you just posted my itinerary from that trip.
                  Anything listed on the park maps as an attraction is fair game for inclusion in the Rally.
                  I cannot confirm nor deny the inclusion of any attraction in the Rally.



                  May the Gumballs Be with You...Always.

                  NO GOATS!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    LOL, mamabot! :lol: Did you ever find your purse?
                    "America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between." Oscar Wilde

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      No! Someone took it. I loved my pretty purple purse. At least someone had already taken my cell phone away from me due to chronic drunk dialing & TMing.
                      Anything listed on the park maps as an attraction is fair game for inclusion in the Rally.
                      I cannot confirm nor deny the inclusion of any attraction in the Rally.



                      May the Gumballs Be with You...Always.

                      NO GOATS!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        :lol: :lol: :lol:


                        Comment


                        • #13
                          :lol:
                          Fratsor Sister - Delta Mu Chi Alpha

                          ΔΜΧΑ

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            The only thing you left out was giggling uncontrolably at everything anybody says. Otherwise, that's been my (admittedly few) drunk experiences.
                            The King is back and he's ready to kick some tail. Do not mess with a mouse in black.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by desertdweller
                              1. I have absolutely no idea where my purse is.

                              2. I believe that dancing with my arms overhead and wiggling my butt while
                              yelling "WOO-HOO!" is truly the sexiest dance move around.

                              3. I've suddenly decided I want to kick someone's *** and honestly believe I
                              could do it too.

                              4. In my last trip to the toilet, I realize I now look more like a homeless hooker than the goddess I was just four hours ago.

                              5. I drop my 3:00 a.m. submarine sandwich on the floor (which I'm eating even though I'm not the least bit hungry), pick it up and carry on eating it

                              6. I start crying and telling everyone I see that I love them sooooo much.

                              7. I get extremely excited and jump up and down every time a new song plays
                              because "Oh my God! I love this song!"

                              8. I've found a deeper/spiritual side to the geek sitting next to me

                              9. The man I'm flirting with used to be my 5th grade teacher.

                              10. The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a table and sing or
                              dance becomes strangely overwhelming.

                              11. My eyes just don't seem to want to stay open on their own so I keep them half closed and think it looks exotically sexy.

                              12. I've suddenly taken up smoking and become really good at it.

                              13. I yell at the bartender, who (I think) cheated me by giving me just
                              lemonade, but that's just because I can no longer taste the gin.

                              14. I think I'm in bed, but my pillow feels strangely like the kitchen floor

                              15. I start every conversation with a booming, "DON'T take this the WRONG WAY but..."

                              16. I fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when I sit on it.

                              17. My hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves.

                              18. I'm tired so I just sit on the floor (wherever I happen to be standing) and take a quick nap.

                              19. I begin leaving the buttons open on my button fly pants to cut down on the time I'm in the bathroom away from my drink.

                              20. I take my shoes off because I believe it's their fault that I'm having problems walking straight.

                              21. Who's bed is this? KaBoom... ZzZZzZ
                              Omg Ive been there done that more times than i can count subsitute cheeseburger for sub for me! and nimber 3 was a big one for me...thats the main reason i quit drinking in public :lol:

                              Comment

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