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Need some advice...

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  • Need some advice...

    My DD is 3 and she has some stomach/constipation issues. I finally got it under control by watching her diet carefully and making sure she gets enough fiber and fruit. Before we got this under control we had to go through painful enema treatments.

    Everything has been going well except at family get togethers. My family thinks I am too hard on my daughter and sneak her sweets and junk behind my back. This always ends up with a constipation flare-up. At our last family gathering (we see each other about every three weeks) I told DD that she had to eat her applesauce to get cake. Well my family(3 members) pulled me in the kitchen and told me that I am embarrasing my daughter by telling her to eat applesauce and they will give her a piece of cake regardless of what she eats. While they were talking to me, my uncle was giving her mm's and eating her applesauce for her. They all know about the constipation issue but they don't think a little cake will make a difference. (even though I tell them it does. she can have treats but only after she eats the healthy stuff first)

    Well after the last fiasco, I decided that I will not let them watch her during a meal time and when we are all together, I will leave if they pull this again. Well a situation is coming up where they are supposed to watch her for three hours (between 1-4 so there is no meal in there) but now they are saying they are going to eat during that time for my grandma's birthday. I asked them if they could wait to celebrate it until 4, but they say I am just messing everything up and making life harder on everyone. I am thinking about just hiring a sitter and that will make them mad too. I don't know what to do. Do you think I am out of line and I just can't see it?
    "He who knows only his own side of the case, knows little of that. His reasons may be good, and no one may have been able to refute them. But if he is equally unable to refute the reasons on the opposite side; if he does not so much as know what they are, he has no ground for preferring either opinion" --John Stuart Mill




  • #2
    Re: Need some advice...

    tb-you have my sympathies with the constipation issues. My oldest daughter( who is now 6) used to get constipated real bad too.
    I think its sad that your family cant go by the rules you set down for your daughter and her eating habits. Its her health for goodness sakes! Its not like you are refusing to let her eat candy cause youre being a mean mommy, youre doing it cause it causes her to be in pain and not poop! It hurts!
    I think the sitter idea is a great one. If someone is going to watch your child for you, they need to go by the rules you set forth, no matter if its family or not.
    Good luck!
    "I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it. "Groucho Marx

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    • #3
      Re: Need some advice...

      What they need to realize is that she is YOUR DAUGHTER and not theirs. They are crossing a line that they should not be crossing. Be strong....and what's more, you are not being unreasonable with how you are treating and feeding your child.

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      • #4
        Re: Need some advice...

        You are her mom and they should respect your wishes since you know her better than anyone else.


        Do you think it could be milk that's constipating her? My yongst daughter could not tolerate it when she was young and we alsways had to give her some apple juice or apple sauce if she had any milk or she would be miserable. Just be careful with the apple juice because it can corrode little one's teeth if you don't wipe them down with a wet cloth right after they've drunk it.

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        • #5
          Re: Need some advice...

          I think what they are doing is very disrespectful and inconsiderate of your feelings and especially the health of your daughter.

          She's your daughter, you know what she goes through and what's wrong with her, if they can't understand that and respect your wishes then I understand getting a sitter.

          Not only that, it also teaches your daughter that she doesn't have to listen to mommy which is really bad.

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          • #6
            Re: Need some advice...

            Originally posted by Princess Buttercup View Post
            You are her mom and they should respect your wishes since you know her better than anyone else.


            Do you think it could be milk that's constipating her? My yongst daughter could not tolerate it when she was young and we alsways had to give her some apple juice or apple sauce if she had any milk or she would be miserable. Just be careful with the apple juice because it can corrode little one's teeth if you don't wipe them down with a wet cloth right after they've drunk it.
            Thank you everyone for your advice. I really appreciate it.

            PB- We took her off milk for awhile and that didn't make a difference. Both my DH and I have sensitive stomachs so she may take after us. If she eats at least the recomended servings per day of fruit she is ok. I usually go over that a little and that works well too. If doesn't eat her fruit, she gets constipated. My parents and other family live off junk food. At a typical family gathering they will give my kids soda, chips, cheetos, goldfish, hotdogs, cakecookies, ice cream, and licorice. Then they give them a goodie bag for the ride home with a couple cookies and some more goldfish. It is too much on her system which is why I bring my own food
            "He who knows only his own side of the case, knows little of that. His reasons may be good, and no one may have been able to refute them. But if he is equally unable to refute the reasons on the opposite side; if he does not so much as know what they are, he has no ground for preferring either opinion" --John Stuart Mill



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            • #7
              Re: Need some advice...

              Sounds like my family. But others said it, she's your daughter.
              When I was first married I had a similar situation. Drop the kid off at my wifes mom's house while we went to work. Pick her up at the end of the day only to find out all day long she was eating nothing but junk. Told my wife to talk to her mom and if nothing happen we would put her in a day stay. Naturally grandma won't stop but we got lucky. We had friends and family (sisters/brothers) locally that worked different days/hours so we made up a schedule of who and here and what days. It worked out great.

              Here's a link even though I am sure you looked into it already:
              http://digestive.niddk.nih.gov/ddise.../constipation/

              Good luck and stay strong.

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              • #8
                Re: Need some advice...

                Sounds to me like you need to lay the law down with your family - very firmly. Asking nicely didn't work, explaining to them the situation didn't work. Now it's time to kick up a royal fuss about it.
                Looking for the truth about giraffes? http://www.menacinggiraffes.blogspot.com/

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                • #9
                  Re: Need some advice...

                  Originally posted by tbminnie View Post
                  Well my family(3 members) pulled me in the kitchen and told me that I am embarrasing my daughter by telling her to eat applesauce and they will give her a piece of cake regardless of what she eats.
                  First of all, what she eats is not their decision, and what they are doing is completely unacceptable. What if she had a food allergy, what if she had celiacs disease? Would they still feel free to jeopardize her health?

                  You can be nice about it-- "Thank you for your input, we appreciate your concern and will take that into consideration. For now, we have decided that she needs to eat her applesauce first." Or something like that.
                  xo, Deanna

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                  • #10
                    Re: Need some advice...

                    It doesnt matter how I put it, they will do what they want to do. That is why I am going the sitter route. It really bothered me that they said I was embarrasing my daughter by telling her she had to eat applesauce. How is that embarrasing? The way my mom put it when they pulled me in the kitchen is that the family felt they needed to intervene on her behalf. huh? I don't get it. I didn't raise my voice, I didn't give a look, all I said was she needed to eat her applesauce before she ate cake. She made a boo boo face but she would have stopped if everyone left it alone.
                    "He who knows only his own side of the case, knows little of that. His reasons may be good, and no one may have been able to refute them. But if he is equally unable to refute the reasons on the opposite side; if he does not so much as know what they are, he has no ground for preferring either opinion" --John Stuart Mill



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                    • #11
                      Re: Need some advice...

                      yeah, the sitter idea is a good one, cuz they are just causing problems for your child and you, and you shouldnt have to deal with that, especially cuz its health wise

                      Orlando doing good
                      http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=9a0_1212091354&p=1

                      www.Myspace.com/butterflytat20
                      Princess of Randomness

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                      • #12
                        Re: Need some advice...

                        Families. Sheesh.

                        I'd get a sitter if I were you. She is your daughter to raise as YOU see fit.

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                        • #13
                          Re: Need some advice...

                          Try the three P's

                          Peaches
                          Pears and
                          Prunes

                          A doctor told me this for my kids. Apples and bananas can be very binding.

                          As for the other... I COMPLETELY know what you are going through. I feed my family pretty much ALL organic (except special occassions like holidays in which they get regular candy but in little amounts at a time). My kids don't miss out on anything.. I buy them Newman Os which are like Oreos... Organic Breyers Ice Cream... Organic homemade pizza.... Even Organic French Fries BUT... my one son goes away with his other grandparents and they feed him fastfood (which we NEVER eat), candy, soda, slushies, Little Debbies... you know a bunch of junk full of chemicals. Then they have the nerve to come bringing him home and say "You know... he really hasn't been feeling very well." Hmmmmmmmmmm geeeee.... that's a toughy! Or they will make fun of us right in front of him like at Easter time they will say... "Oh you mean your mom actually lets you have CANDY on Easter? I didn't think you were ALLOWED!". Funny thing is that my family goes through cold and flu season and barely gets a sniffle unless we get off track or one of the kids gets a bunch of candy at school from his teacher and then BOOM someone is sick. I am soooo tired of people making fun of me for how I eat and purposely trying to prove me wrong or purposely feeding my kids stuff I ask them not to. I asked his real dad and new wife NOT to take him to McDonald's because it really upsets his belly. They took him to Burger King instead and let him order the biggest burger on the menu. Makes me soooooooo angry:verymad:

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                          • #14
                            Re: Need some advice...

                            my son has issues like this. he is 7 and has been in and out of the hospital for pocedures to try and help him. We have tried diet and it just didnt even touch the problem. He is now on a pescription which is fantastic. We aren't sure yet if he will be on it forever but the drs say its a good possability. But the medication is a colorless powder with no taste that you desolve in any drink. It works wonders.
                            GrouchyRob Fan!!
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                            • #15
                              Re: Need some advice...

                              ^ Thank you! She likes peaches a lot. That and grapes really keep her regular. Families are sooo irritating!
                              "He who knows only his own side of the case, knows little of that. His reasons may be good, and no one may have been able to refute them. But if he is equally unable to refute the reasons on the opposite side; if he does not so much as know what they are, he has no ground for preferring either opinion" --John Stuart Mill



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