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I just don't know anymore- and I may just give up

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  • I just don't know anymore- and I may just give up

    Trying to understand that is.....

    So- I am reading the book, and out of curiousity I went out to see what people are saying about it. Lots of opinions out there- some love it, some say it is total drivel. I figure the truth is somewhere inbetween.

    Can people just be too busy to call? I don't think so, but then I feel unreasonable.

    I do NOT think I was or am imagining things- things are VERY different than they were before. It's a rather sudden change and I totally believe that guys would rather put off telling you that it's not going to work out to the end of the world, rather than just get it over with and face the reaction.

    I have had one minor failure- I emailed him a link to an article I thought he might like. Pitiful attempt at contact on my part really.....

    Stupid stupid girl! Stop wasting your time on this!

  • #2
    He's Just Not That Into You...? Is that what you are referencing?

    I haven't read it, but I hear it is a good read.

    Guys ARE chickens.
    A signature should go here.

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    • #3
      I heard it's an excellent book as well, but Nephy, use your common sense. I refuse to put all my faith in a book written by people I don't know and who don't know me. I'm sure it makes excellent points, but use your common sense! And do what you feel is the best thing for YOU. <hugs>
      Looking for the truth about giraffes? http://www.menacinggiraffes.blogspot.com/

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      • #4
        Yes, that is what I am reading. As well as a book called Why Men Love Bitches. LOL

        Men ARE chickens!!!

        For goodness sake- in this case, if he INSISTS on finding a woman who can bear his children- then he needs to just say it, cut me loose and get on with it. The "I still want to see you, and see what happens" along with the total lack of communication just SUCKS!

        My kids and I are not an experiment-

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        • #5
          Originally posted by sunnygirl
          I heard it's an excellent book as well, but Nephy, use your common sense. I refuse to put all my faith in a book written by people I don't know and who don't know me. I'm sure it makes excellent points, but use your common sense! And do what you feel is the best thing for YOU. <hugs>
          Of course- I don't put blind faith in a self help book. I just feel like I have confused myself into near oblivion.

          What is best for me- lol, when I figure that out I will certainly do just that.

          It's like anything- you take the best parts of it, apply what works for you...and ditch the rest.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Nephythys
            It's like anything- you take the best parts of it, apply what works for you...and ditch the rest.
            *high five* Awesome, girly.
            Looking for the truth about giraffes? http://www.menacinggiraffes.blogspot.com/

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Nephythys
              For goodness sake- in this case, if he INSISTS on finding a woman who can bear his children- then he needs to just say it, cut me loose and get on with it. My kids and I are not an experiment-
              Well, that's the crux of it right there then. Kids are a deal-breaker if all parties are not on the same page. Not in a bad way, but it is the one issue you both shouldn't have to compromise on. Maybe the thought of an "instant family" freaks him out. Maybe travelling with you brought it all to the forefront of his mind and that's why he has backed off. Who knows? Sounds like maybe HE doesn't even know.

              I feel a confrontation a'brewing!
              A signature should go here.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by SusieP.
                Well, that's the crux of it right there then. Kids are a deal-breaker if all parties are not on the same page. Not in a bad way, but it is the one issue you both shouldn't have to compromise on. Maybe the thought of an "instant family" freaks him out. Maybe travelling with you brought it all to the forefront of his mind and that's why he has backed off. Who knows? Sounds like maybe HE doesn't even know.

                I feel a confrontation a'brewing!
                That's the thing-we HAD the confrontation, and conversation!
                He says he thinks he could do the instant family thing, he WANTS to be able to do it, he says! He says that he adores Rose and that she has him almost convinced he could give up the whole bio thing. But yet....what do we have now? Total and complete silence. FINE- if he wants to back off, can't do it, FINE- just farking say it. Though by his actions he already is screaming it. So in words he says nothing changed- and he wants to keep seeing me- BUT, I also know that NOW I am NOT the only one he is seeing- though he won't admit it outright.

                Spare me the "he's busy" crap- he is not so busy as to not pick up the phone.

                Last night Davis asked me for his # because he wanted to invite him to an event at the place he is staying- I gave it to him but told him it was probably a waste of time. I am FURIOUS. This guy made a POINT and an EFFORT to get to know my kids, get them to like him, he WANTED them to get involved with this. And now??? NOW he starts wondering? Now he disappears? Stops talking to me at all!

                I seriously messed up- I let my kids get into this. I am so angry right now I can't even see straight.

                How dare he-it was NOT a game!

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                • #9
                  I'm so sorry. This is tricky.

                  Okay, okay. Don't get yourself all worked up over it yet. Because what if he just needs some time to straighten his life out and figure out what he wants to do. If he comes back around and you're already negative towards him, it's all going to blow up anyway.

                  So maybe, just maybe, give him the benefit of the doubt until you have more info, but call him and give him a deadline. And then if he can't get a grip, get pissed!
                  A signature should go here.

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                  • #10
                    I guess what I am coming to- is that I am beginning to see I have no reason to be here when and if he comes around after figuring it out. He goes on about being there for us and yet......he is nowhere to be found and I am NOT going to call him. Not at this point.

                    How many days have to go by with no contact, how many times do I have to see him and see how differently he treats me before I just give it up?

                    It's ludicrous to think I should just wait for him- so yeah, unless it is over already and I have just not settled that in my head and heart yet- then there is certainly a deadline.

                    I am stuck- I can't DO anything. If I come to him with any of this at this point I have exposed my emotional underbelly and he is running the show. Though I hate doing nothing as well....

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                    • #11
                      Nephy: ah, but you forget... men can't handle the emotional underbelly thing

                      Unusually and exceedingly peculiar and altogether quite impossible to describe...


                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Morrigoon
                        Nephy: ah, but you forget... men can't handle the emotional underbelly thing
                        Yeah, the pansies! Maybe you should try the crying thing instead.

                        No, no, I'm just kidding. Don't compromise yourself. Follow your gut.
                        A signature should go here.

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by SusieP.
                          Follow your gut.
                          Umm, AMEN to following your gut! I recently had a situation where I didn't follow my gut about someone I was seeing very casually, and lo and behold, my gut was right. 100% Listen to your instincts! There's a reason we have them!
                          Looking for the truth about giraffes? http://www.menacinggiraffes.blogspot.com/

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Morrigoon
                            Nephy: ah, but you forget... men can't handle the emotional underbelly thing
                            Oh this one senses weakness and uses it.

                            For example- when I went mental on him about Sylvr the psycho hose beast- I apologized, and rightly so, but his response was one of "I'll get over it, and apologies go a long way with me" Along with the requisite guilt trip of, I can't believe this from you, this is not how someone who cares about me would act.

                            And the way he is acting now shows me he cares about me HOW?????

                            Great- I apologized- now what? Nothing....

                            More and more I have to be upfront and blunt- after all, men don't do subtle.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by SusieP.
                              Yeah, the pansies! Maybe you should try the crying thing instead.

                              No, no, I'm just kidding. Don't compromise yourself. Follow your gut.
                              LOL- my gut says I need to kick this guy to the curb and go find a tall deadly sexy wonderful replacement.....

                              Alice in Wonderland anyone? I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it....that explains the trouble that I'm always in.....patience is very good advice, but the waiting makes me curious....

                              tra la la

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