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  • A must read for couples and singles who are looking

    This book: The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate

    This book is amazing! In just the first two chapters, I've been able to pinpoint what happened in my most recent marriage and how it could have been done differently. It's too late now as too much has happened, but it will help immensley with any future relationships. I will also ask that any future suitors read this cover to cover before I even think about getting between the sheets with them. If he will not take the time to read it, I will not be sleeping with him...no point starting a relationship if it's set up to fail.

    I would highly recommend this to anyone/everyone.
    We don't stop playing because we grow old; We grow old because we stop playing.
    -------------------------------------
    Vows are spoken
    To be broken
    Feelings are intense
    Words are trivial
    Pleasures remain
    So does the pain
    Words are meaningless
    And forgettable

  • #2
    ^ agreed- a great book

    The same author writes books of the same philosophy geard toward parenting issues and raising children. Those are good as well.
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    Comment


    • #3
      Thanks -- sounds interesting!

      Comment


      • #4
        I just finished reading it and my roommate has it now

        After she reads it, my daughter wants to borrow it. I will be polluting everyone I know with its' widsom.
        We don't stop playing because we grow old; We grow old because we stop playing.
        -------------------------------------
        Vows are spoken
        To be broken
        Feelings are intense
        Words are trivial
        Pleasures remain
        So does the pain
        Words are meaningless
        And forgettable

        Comment


        • #5
          femm: good luck getting your man to read it, lemme know how that goes.

          Regardless of whether they SHOULD read a book, can you really imagine a guy (who isn't likely interested in all that "relationship stuff" and just feels he "knows what he likes" being asked to read a book before getting involved with a woman, when he doesn't even know if she'll be "worth it"? Sorry, I have my doubts that you can get a guy to read it. In theory, they SHOULD watch romantic comedies to figure out how we want them to act. In reality, they find such films boring and aren't going to pay attention to little details in the heros that make us ladies so excited.

          Unusually and exceedingly peculiar and altogether quite impossible to describe...


          Comment


          • #6
            I know I suck for this, but I refuse to read any of these books. They all sound good, but I think almost all the advice, etc contained within them boils down to the same thing: common sense.
            Looking for the truth about giraffes? http://www.menacinggiraffes.blogspot.com/

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Morrigoon
              femm: good luck getting your man to read it, lemme know how that goes. Regardless of whether they SHOULD read a book, can you really imagine a guy (who isn't likely interested in all that "relationship stuff" and just feels he "knows what he likes" being asked to read a book before getting involved with a woman, when he doesn't even know if she'll be "worth it"? Sorry, I have my doubts that you can get a guy to read it.
              Ya know, you're probably right, but if I'm not worth his taking the time to read something that will help him get me into bed, then he doesn't deserve to be with me and I'll move right along. I'm done letting the men in my life run my life and dictate how the relationship will go...I will do the dictating from here on out. At least in the beginning.

              It's not like they'll have to buy the book (I have it) and if we've been on a few dates and things are moving along and they're expressing sincere interest in me, they shouldn't have a problem taking 2-3 evenings to read it. If they can't do that for me, screw em'. I'll tell them I'll give up two nights out doing something, in exchange for their opinion on it.

              And hey, it can't be much worse than anything I've tried in the past...NOTHING has worked.
              We don't stop playing because we grow old; We grow old because we stop playing.
              -------------------------------------
              Vows are spoken
              To be broken
              Feelings are intense
              Words are trivial
              Pleasures remain
              So does the pain
              Words are meaningless
              And forgettable

              Comment


              • #8
                Well, first of all, it'd take a guy a LONG time getting to know you before he could determine whether you're worth reading the book for, and second, if you'd ask this of him, he may figure you aren't worth it, because what else will you ask for in the relationship and is he prepared to give it...

                I'm just suggesting that while this will scare off the unworthy, it'll also scare off quite a few worthy candidates.

                Unusually and exceedingly peculiar and altogether quite impossible to describe...


                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by sunnygirl
                  I know I suck for this, but I refuse to read any of these books. They all sound good, but I think almost all the advice, etc contained within them boils down to the same thing: common sense.
                  Most of them are, but this one is much different than others I've read that deal with relationships.

                  This one delves into what each person needs to fill up their "love tank" - it's different for everyone and just because you're climbing all over your husband and giving him lots of sex, doesn't mean it will make him feel loved. His love language could be Verbal Affirmation, so no matter how physical you are with him, if he doesn't hear compliments (of any nature) from you, he might not feel loved, even though you're doing things to show him you love him. Your love language may be Physical Touch, but your husband may be bringing you little gifts all the time, to show his love...it will be nice, but without the physical touch you need, you won't feel loved. And if his love language is Gifts and you're giving him verbal affirmation, he won't feel loved.

                  There are all kinds of combinations and everyone is different, so what you need and what your partner needs may be completely opposite of one another and if you know what they need to feel loved and give it to them and they do it for you, the honeymoon doesn't have to end.

                  My summary, anyway.
                  We don't stop playing because we grow old; We grow old because we stop playing.
                  -------------------------------------
                  Vows are spoken
                  To be broken
                  Feelings are intense
                  Words are trivial
                  Pleasures remain
                  So does the pain
                  Words are meaningless
                  And forgettable

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    well, in the defense of this book- its premise is that there are 5 types of people when it comes to love and affection (ie- 5 general ways of showing love- praise, gifts, acts of service, etc) The point is you read the book and figure which one of these things is your "love language" (the way you like to show love and the way you feel most loved, sometimes they are the same, sometimes they are different) you also can determine which if these languages is that of your mates. By knowing both of these things, it is suppossed to make you better at expressing and receiving love, as well as improving communication.

                    For example-

                    your style of giving love is acts of service- so when you do things for your mate (laundry, feet rubbing etc) it is an expression of love.

                    your mates style of receiving love is praise- so he feels neglected because you never tell him how great he is and how much you love him, and you feel neglected because he doesn't acknowledge what you do for him. But if you both know what these acts mean, then you will give him more praise and he will acknoweldge the acts of service because you both understand the meaning behind them. And it works both ways.

                    In theory, it is a fairly simple solution to the problem of miscommunication in a relationship, and an easy way to add more love and affection.

                    This is the only relationship book I have ever read- it is short and engaging- if you can't get your guy to read it, you can probably get him interested enough to figure out what his love language is and tell him what yours is. I think it is worth reading, even if you are skeptical of the genre (which I am)
                    Check out the News Forum for the latest news with a Micechat twist!



                    Do you MiceChat?
                    Help support the site you love:
                    -Visit the MiceChat store
                    Make a donation with one of the boxes at the bottom of the page

                    DMCA for life, yo.
                    MCDA- Bringin' sexyback, one pound at a time.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by femmdraven
                      Most of them are, but this one is much different than others I've read that deal with relationships.

                      This one delves into what each person needs to fill up their "love tank" - it's different for everyone and just because you're climbing all over your husband and giving him lots of sex, doesn't mean it will make him feel loved. His love language could be Verbal Affirmation, so no matter how physical you are with him, if he doesn't hear compliments (of any nature) from you, he might not feel loved, even though you're doing things to show him you love him. Your love language may be Physical Touch, but your husband may be bringing you little gifts all the time, to show his love...it will be nice, but without the physical touch you need, you won't feel loved. And if his love language is Gifts and you're giving him verbal affirmation, he won't feel loved.

                      There are all kinds of combinations and everyone is different, so what you need and what your partner needs may be completely opposite of one another and if you know what they need to feel loved and give it to them and they do it for you, the honeymoon doesn't have to end.

                      My summary, anyway.
                      I'm not knocking anyone for reading these kind of books, but again, not so much for me. I still feel that it's all about common sense and common courtesy towards your partner.
                      Looking for the truth about giraffes? http://www.menacinggiraffes.blogspot.com/

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        lol, we were posting at the same time, sorry for the overlap!
                        Check out the News Forum for the latest news with a Micechat twist!



                        Do you MiceChat?
                        Help support the site you love:
                        -Visit the MiceChat store
                        Make a donation with one of the boxes at the bottom of the page

                        DMCA for life, yo.
                        MCDA- Bringin' sexyback, one pound at a time.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Morrigoon
                          I'm just suggesting that while this will scare off the unworthy, it'll also scare off quite a few worthy candidates.
                          Could be, but I can tell you now, I'm not sleeping with anyone again until I'm sure they understand what my needs are and I understand theirs...whether they read the book or not.

                          Sex is not happening again until everything is understood. If they can't wait, they'll be fired. I'm finished wasting time on men who don't deserve me.
                          We don't stop playing because we grow old; We grow old because we stop playing.
                          -------------------------------------
                          Vows are spoken
                          To be broken
                          Feelings are intense
                          Words are trivial
                          Pleasures remain
                          So does the pain
                          Words are meaningless
                          And forgettable

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by sunnygirl
                            I'm not knocking anyone for reading these kind of books, but again, not so much for me. I still feel that it's all about common sense and common courtesy towards your partner.
                            You can love your partner and do things for them all the time, but if you're not doing the right things and they don't tell you (a problem men have), how will you know if you're making them feel loved or if you're doing things that would make you feel loved?

                            That's the premise of the book and I understand books like this aren't for everyone, but of all the ones I've scoured for information, this one made the most sense of all.
                            We don't stop playing because we grow old; We grow old because we stop playing.
                            -------------------------------------
                            Vows are spoken
                            To be broken
                            Feelings are intense
                            Words are trivial
                            Pleasures remain
                            So does the pain
                            Words are meaningless
                            And forgettable

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by femmdraven
                              Could be, but I can tell you now, I'm not sleeping with anyone again until I'm sure they understand what my needs are and I understand theirs...whether they read the book or not.

                              Sex is not happening again until everything is understood. If they can't wait, they'll be fired.
                              That's exactly as it should be. Why rush into a physical relationship with someone who doesn't care about you as a whole person, but cares about just a few parts? That is just cheapening the beauty of the whole sex thing. (And yes, I do think sex is beautiful, not shameful or dirty or something nice girls don't do.) But I agree 100%...before sex, you've got to have love.
                              Looking for the truth about giraffes? http://www.menacinggiraffes.blogspot.com/

                              Comment

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