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  • Writing a Dear Jane letter.

    Come to the dark side,
    we have cookies.

  • #2
    Re: Writing a Dear Jane letter.

    Someone has a stalker!

    If you told her in person, and she "didn't get it" I'm betting the letter might not work either. Sorry dude. How explicit were you in your conversation/letter? Don't use euphamisims or innuendo. Just flat out say what you said above.

    Here's keeping my fingers crossed for ya. If that doesn't work I'll buy you a drink at Lost Bar sometime!

    Originally posted by Senator David Wu (D-OR)
    Don't let faux-klingons send real Americans to war!

    Originally posted by TheHousingBubbleBlog
    Everyone says that the U.S. doesn’t make anything anymore, but that’s not exactly true. We’re the world leader in the manufacturing of bull****.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Writing a Dear Jane letter.

      Exactly! Dont say anything like "its just not the right time" because that might give her the false hope that maybe in the future things will be different.

      I'm anti Dear ______ letters but if you tried the face to face route and it didnt work then I guess an actual letter is ok.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Writing a Dear Jane letter.

        Originally posted by Olympicnut
        Exactly! Dont say anything like "its just not the right time" because that might give her the false hope that maybe in the future things will be different.

        I'm anti Dear ______ letters but if you tried the face to face route and it didnt work then I guess an actual letter is ok.

        LOL!!! I hate the Dear ____ leters as well. But the face to face did nothing for her.
        And I think Hyper is dead on.

        I sure could use some Lost Bar fun....or was that the thing that got me in trouble in the first place? hmmm I love trouble.
        Come to the dark side,
        we have cookies.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Writing a Dear Jane letter.

          Dear ____


          How are you? I am fine.

          Enough chit-chat. Let's get down to buisness.

          I just can't stand you anymore. Don't believe me? Today I vomited seven times due to the memory of kissing you... make that eight... nine.

          It's not me, it is so totaly you. You are a freak and not in a good way. I knew I should have been suspicious when your mom (who is a good deal hotter than you are) said she would pay me $100 a week not to break up with you, that she was tired of seeing you in their house every day.

          Trust me, this is the best thing for me. Not for you, the best thing for you would be to visit a freakin dentist and perhaps look the word "jog" up, but I need this. I can't spend every night showering the filth I accumulated from you off.

          Why do you think I gave you roses? It wasn't to try to get you in bed... 10 vomits now... It was to get rid if that smell. You smell like a pickle wrapped up in rancid bacon and left to ripen in the anus of a dead monkey for a month. ...11 vomits.

          I'm sure that a special someone may come along, and I want to be ready for her. Every moment I spend with you is like another nail in my coffin.

          Regards,
          ______________


          That should do it.
          St. Elizabeth, Patron Saint of Themed parks. Protect us from break downs, long lines, and used gum. Amen.

          "Dance like it hurts, love like you need money, and work when people are watching" - Dogbert




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          • #6
            Re: Writing a Dear Jane letter.

            T-Gel does it again!

            Mr. D, I'd pay to see the look on someones face if you gave them that letter! I love it. Then again, I'm just sick that way.

            Originally posted by Senator David Wu (D-OR)
            Don't let faux-klingons send real Americans to war!

            Originally posted by TheHousingBubbleBlog
            Everyone says that the U.S. doesn’t make anything anymore, but that’s not exactly true. We’re the world leader in the manufacturing of bull****.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Writing a Dear Jane letter.

              Originally posted by thejoshualee
              Dear ____


              How are you? I am fine.

              Enough chit-chat. Let's get down to buisness.

              I just can't stand you anymore. Don't believe me? Today I vomited seven times due to the memory of kissing you... make that eight... nine.

              It's not me, it is so totaly you. You are a freak and not in a good way. I knew I should have been suspicious when your mom (who is a good deal hotter than you are) said she would pay me $100 a week not to break up with you, that she was tired of seeing you in their house every day.

              Trust me, this is the best thing for me. Not for you, the best thing for you would be to visit a freakin dentist and perhaps look the word "jog" up, but I need this. I can't spend every night showering the filth I accumulated from you off.

              Why do you think I gave you roses? It wasn't to try to get you in bed... 10 vomits now... It was to get rid if that smell. You smell like a pickle wrapped up in rancid bacon and left to ripen in the anus of a dead monkey for a month. ...11 vomits.

              I'm sure that a special someone may come along, and I want to be ready for her. Every moment I spend with you is like another nail in my coffin.

              Regards,
              ______________


              That should do it.


              HOLY SHNIKE!

              I FREAKIN LOVE IT!!!! LOL!!!!

              Im gonna use it. thanks :lol:
              Come to the dark side,
              we have cookies.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Writing a Dear Jane letter.

                TJL: You are a brilliant writer.
                Anything listed on the park maps as an attraction is fair game for inclusion in the Rally.
                I cannot confirm nor deny the inclusion of any attraction in the Rally.



                May the Gumballs Be with You...Always.

                NO GOATS!

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Writing a Dear Jane letter.

                  TJL, that just rocked my world :lmao:

                  "Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you've never been hurt and live like it's heaven on Earth."
                  — Mark Twain




                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Writing a Dear Jane letter.

                    Thanks all... I perfected it from breaking up with hundreds of women.
                    St. Elizabeth, Patron Saint of Themed parks. Protect us from break downs, long lines, and used gum. Amen.

                    "Dance like it hurts, love like you need money, and work when people are watching" - Dogbert




                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Writing a Dear Jane letter.

                      Dude, if she didn't get it face-to-face, then there's something you did that gave her the impression that it isn't over or there might be a chance. Perhaps a letter isn't going to cut it (but T-Gel's might work...), but if she can't handle it in person, when she ask for clarification, I think the letter moved down on the list.

                      But, in contradiction, I wouldn't recommend talking to her in person. Every moment you are with her, every action you take can be misinterpreted.

                      Now as I think this out--go with the letter.

                      And don't try the cliches either. The "It's not you, it's me" kinda stuff has been played to death and she'll be immune. Go with the honesty thing. Don't use put-downs (you smell funny!) or positives (you are so pretty, you'll find someone, soon!). Just say, "I'm looking at the two of us, and I don't see the future you are seeing. This isn't going to work in a manner I thought it would."

                      Lastly, don't apologize for anything. otherwise, it's an admission of guilt. Use lotsa "I" sentences and stuff you know about you. Avoid adverbs like, "sorta' 'kinda''maybe'.

                      If you want us in the Writer's Club to proof it, let us know. We're a pretty creative lot.

                      Peace,
                      Roo
                      husband, petowner, wordsmith, imagineer, martialist, playwright, traveller, ardent, wit, critic, barista, Taoist, superhero, fortuneteller, reader, fidget, teacher, dreamer, author, blogger, ghosthunter, voter, patient, bear, gourmand, Floridian, friend

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                      • #12
                        Re: Writing a Dear Jane letter.

                        did you know American Greetings sells these sort of cards!!!!

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Writing a Dear Jane letter.

                          Originally posted by pixywingz
                          did you know American Greetings sells these sort of cards!!!!
                          They really DO have cards for everything, don't they?

                          Originally posted by Senator David Wu (D-OR)
                          Don't let faux-klingons send real Americans to war!

                          Originally posted by TheHousingBubbleBlog
                          Everyone says that the U.S. doesn’t make anything anymore, but that’s not exactly true. We’re the world leader in the manufacturing of bull****.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Writing a Dear Jane letter.

                            yup! not sure if that's good or bad! lol

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Writing a Dear Jane letter.

                              ***UPDATE***


                              PG13



                              Ok, this is the weirdest thing ever, I sent her my letter and not the beautiful letter as written by T-Gel, and I get this back, and I quote.

                              "its cool with me if you just want to hang and talk if you still want to kiss and hug is cool too! as for the (censored) (edited for TMI) some day you want to with no strings im open to it.. its not using if we both want to..."


                              OK Im cool and all but I swear I didnt know I had that effect on the ladies well... maybe just a little but this is off the hizhook!
                              Im so not going to go there with her, I can just see it turning Fatal Attraction. Eeeeek ! I dont need this in my life...

                              besides Im not that kinda boy...
                              Last edited by Mr.DooDah; 03-22-2006, 05:29 PM.
                              Come to the dark side,
                              we have cookies.

                              Comment

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