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Dates from HELL!!!!


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  • Dates from HELL!!!!

    So what's your worst dating story?

    Here's a blog entry from that had me laughing so hard I fell out of my chair.

    How Not to Act on J-Date

    So based on the success of "What not to do if you don't get the job," this week, we're proud to bring you "How not to act on J-Date."


    This was emailed to me (don't bother to ask by who, I promised secrecy) and it's about three or so weeks old. And before you give me crap for posting it, trust me, it was forwarded about 22 times before it hit me, so it's definitely out there. I'm not printing anything that doesn't already exist.

    Our story opens with some background: For the uninitiated, (those who don't live in either New York, Florida, Los Angeles, or Israel,) J-Date is for Jews. I've used it. I've had a few good dates from it, a few horrible dates from it, like most everyone has.

    And when you have one of those horrible dates, you chalk it up. "Oh, it was just dinner," you say.

    That's life. There'll be other dates. Right?

    I mean, that's what we all do, yes?

    NOT DARREN SHERMAN. Darren just felt... Well, "wronged."

    So let's start here: Darren's profile reads:

    About me:

    I joined JDate four weeks ago. Cute, tall and funny best describes me!
    I am a person whom is usually on the go, particularly in the warm
    weather. In the summertime you can typically find me on the beaches in the
    Hampton's or New Jersey shore. In the wintertime I enjoy taking drives
    to beautiful towns such as Lambertsville, Red Bank, Katonah, Port
    Jefferson and Greenwich. "People watching" can be an easily enjoyable
    activity for me. I own a management consulting firm assisting financial
    institutions with regulatory issues. I travel extensively for business and

    I am looking for:

    I am on JDate to find someone special. I have no set rules per se on
    dating someone younger/older (20-40). I have learned that age really does
    not matter; so why limit any possibilities in finding a life long
    partner. Wouldn't you agree? Physcial characteristics: Preferably tall and
    medium build. Mentally: Fun and easy going. Someone who is comfortable
    with themselves. I love a good jokester so please be funny!

    Below is a little bit more about me from a professional perspective.
    (Hey, JDating is serious business :-)

    Biography of Darren L. Sherman:

    Mr. Darren L. Sherman is CEO of <company deleted to give the guy at least somewhat of a chance of recovering from his stupidity at some point in his life from a business perspective, anyway,> a
    consultation firm providing regulatory compliance and internal audit
    assistance to..blah blah. Darren previously served as a Senior
    Investigator for the <government agency deleted>..blah blah.

    References are available upon request :-)

    I hope we get the chance to finally meet!


    So Darren asks Joanne out. Joanne accepts. They eat at China Grill. (Nice restaurant. I've been there.) Darren pays, despite Joanne offering to split the check.

    At some point after the meal, Darren gets the idea that Joanne didn't like him.

    Rather than just chalk it up to a bad date (hey, it happens, right?) Darren... Well, Darren has other plans.


    Yes. I paused and re-read that about 30 times, too.

    I couldn't be serious, could I? He actually didn't email that, did he? Oh, but he did:

    From: Darren Sherman
    Date: Jun 19, 2006 8:48 PM
    Subject: Date
    : <>

    Sorry things didn't work out. I guess you changed your
    Here is my address for the $50 bucks:
    <DELETED> East <DELETED> Street, Apt. 504
    NY NY 10028
    Take care,


    OK. So Darren's a bit odd. Fine. He emailed her, she didn't respond, and he let it go. Right?

    Come on. What kind of story would that be?


    (Insert Jerry Springer "OH NO HE DIDN'T" line here.)

    But he did.

    Listen here:

    Download VM-01-1.wav

    So Joanne goes to work, after hearing that email on her mobile phone voice mail the night before, and before she can even say the world "stalker," she gets the following email:

    From: Darren Sherman
    Date: Jun 20, 2006 8:13 AM
    Subject: Darren
    : <>


    I wanted to follow up on my email and call to you last night to ensure you received my messages for the $50.

    Please acknowledge by replying to this email that you will be sending me the $50.

    I hope you understand from my point of view.



    Um... OK. This is just getting weird. It ends here, right.

    Heh. Yeah. Right.

    Joanne sends the following email back to Darren:


    I just received your emails and also your message from last night. I was away and am just getting back this morning. I had every intention of calling you andmeeting to go out but your email has completely turned me off and i find it extremely tacky. I will not be sending you any money since i offered that night to pay and you told me no that you would take care of it.

    Please do not call me or send me another email i would rather not hear from you at all. And for future reference in the dating world you may want to rethink the tacky approach about asking someone for money like that perhaps that is why you haven't met anyone or have seen them again.


    Go Joanne!! Way to show a backbone! Nice!

    This, of course, (as you could have guessed,) just sends Darren to the next level.


    From: Darren Sherman
    Date: Jun 20, 2006 10:22 AM
    Subject: American Express Bill
    : <>

    FOOD-BEV 107.83
    TIP 20.00
    Reference No: 320061560288086573
    More Detail

    Do the right thing Joanne.



    Words fail me.

    About four hours later, DarrenStalker (TM) strikes again, sending another voice mail, telling Joanne that she's "hiding behind email," and now he's going to "contact her employer."
    There aren't big enough letters on my keyboard to type "WTF?"
    Listen here, and try not to snort soda out of your nose.
    Download VM-02-2.wav

    After receiving this barrage of communications, Joanne decides to fire off an email to Darren to end this once and for all:

    : <>
    Date: Jun 20, 2006 2:38 PM
    To: Darren Sherman


    I am truly sorry it didn't work out. You seemed like a nice guy, but after your voice mails you have now entered the world of a first class creep. Dating is not business, I offered to go dutch at the time the bill came and you declined, as far as I am concerned that is the end of the story. I didn't know that your paying the bill was contingent on me going out with you again.

    Once again, I think you need to look internally as to why things are not working out for you in the dating world. You had mentioned that you had been burned several times, and I am sorry if you feel that it has happened to you again, but perhaps it is your approach in dealing with others that leads to this. Dating and relationships and business are completely different and there is not a quid pro quo for eating and drinking on a date. If this is how you think it works, perhaps you should get consult a professional who I could take care of all of your needs. If I remember correctly it was your choice to go out for dinner, I would have been just as happy to take a walk in the park to get to know you.

    With that said, please feel free to call my employer or issue a summons if you think that this will help. Your message has said that you will not drop this, and I am not one to be bullied or threatened. I have saved all your messages and if you chose to go ahead with your threats then I will be more than happy to notify the proper authorities and get a restraining order. I will also let your clients and employees know about your erratic and bizarre behavior.



    I do love her backbone.

    Does this phase Stalker-Darren? (Who should totally be a comic strip character and should fight the Green Lantern or something...)

    No, it does not phase Stalker-Darren.

    Darren calls her OFFICE, again threatening the summons, and offering up this pearl of Darren-Wisdom: "You ate the food, you drank the wine, Pay your bill."

    Words fail me here, guys. And seriously - for a publicist? That's rare.

    Listen here:

    Download VM-03-3.wav

    And of course, much like the Ginsu Knives commercial, just wait. There's MORE!

    After another 28 minutes, Darren calls her cell phone AGAIN!! This time, (and I implore you - sit down for this one) he lets Joanne know that he's CALLED CHINA GRILL TO REPORT A DISCREPENCY IN THE BILL!

    Yes, you read that right. Darren has told Joanne that he called China Grill to speak to the General Manager to explain that he should not have been charged for the entire meal - i.e., He expects China Grill to call Joanne and get her half of the bill, and credit his AmEx.
    People, I have no motive for lying. You can't make this stuff up. Listen to the fourth voice mail here:

    Download VM-04-4.wav
    Finally, the fifth voice mail. From CHINA GRILL! They called, apparently as confused as we all are, asking Joanne what the heck was going on.

    Download VM-05.WAV

    PR props to China Grill - When Joanne told them the story, they not only told her to not worry about the bill, but offered her a free drink the next time she stopped in. WELL DONE, China Grill's GM. Someone got their PR training. Bravo.

    At this point, kids, that's where our story ends. Who knows what evil lurks in the heart of Darren Sherman - Perhaps he's filing a "stop payment" on his Amex Bill... Or perhaps he's given up J-Date all together.

    One thing we do know, though - (and how many times have I said this?) It you put it out there, either on a voice mail, email, fax, or the Internet, it WILL come back to bite you in the ***.
    You don't believe me?
    Just ask Darren Sherman.
    Growing older is manditory
    Growing up is however, optional

  • #2
    Re: Dates from HELL!!!!

    What else can I say but ... wow!


    • #3
      Re: Dates from HELL!!!!

      Maybe that's why I can't get a date...


      • #4
        Re: Dates from HELL!!!!

        That was too good. Ok heres mine.

        Around my 25th bday, I started dating this guy. We'll call him Adam. My friend Jordan and I have the same birthday so we planned a double bday party at Saddlerach @ Citywalk. I asked Adam to come, he said hed feel uncomfortable because he doesnt drink and knew I was planning on getting wasted that night. He asked if we could go out the next day. I said sure and we made plans to go to Disneyland.
        Next day comes and we're at disneyland. Now, my birthday is in the beginning of July. It was pretty hot that day and I was wearing a tank top and shorts. We went to Rancho Del Zocalo (or whatever its called) and had bbq. Now, I had chicken and was just pulling at the chicken with my fingers...eating like I always do. He had a chicken sandwich. He never once touched any of his food with his fingers. He cut everything. Ok. Sure. When I was done, I was licking the bbq sauce off my fingers and then wiped my hands with my napkin. He reached over and took my wet nap and proceeded to deeply clean his own fingers. And I mean scrubbing his cuticles and trying to get under his nails.
        After we finished eating, we started walking to Jungle Cruise and I was finishing my soda. I knew I needed to burp and as one of my hands was holding his and the other hand had my soda, I turned my head and covered my mouth the best I could with my arm. Granted it was loud, and I know its gross but I did the best I could. Adam stopped walking, dropped my hand and put his hands on his hips and said to me "Becky, that was so unlady like." I kinda giggled and apologized. We continued walking to JC. So now we're in line and hes standing behind me. As I stated I was wearing a tank top. He leans down to me and says "When you come to my house and meet my dad would you mind wearing a sweatshirt so he cant see your tattoos because he doesnt like people with those." :blink:
        The day ended soon after that, and I went home. I dont even think we ever talked again after that.
        "I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it. "Groucho Marx


        • #5
          Re: Dates from HELL!!!!

          :lol: That was hilarious!! And poor frecky, I surprised you didn't marry that guy. :evil:

          One of my worst dates involves hitting a deer. Poor Bambi!

          My parents made me go out with a guy when I turned 16. The guy ASKED MY DAD FOR PERMISSION TO TAKE ME OUT. So when I turned 16 and was able to go on dates on my own, my parents made me. The guy was a dork with a Firebird (not my dream car) that was all loud and he had this crazy stereo system....even louder. But he was the biggest nerd--I don't know a single girl who had ever gone out with him (despite him asking EVERYONE OUT).

          What's funny, is that I don't remember where we went or what we did, but on the way home, instead of crossing the bridge to get to our town, he decides to "go for a loop," which means we're driving 16 miles out of our way to get home on dangerous curvy backroads.

          He's got the stereo cranked, speeding, trying to show off....and he hit a damn deer. Out in the middle of nowhere. Maybe it was an elk, you'd think I'd remember that.

          Luckily some drunk people showed up in an over-sized monster truck (they had been out bashing mail boxes with bats)....and they went to their "buddy's house" out in the boonies to get him to drive me back to his house to call my parents, I wouldn't ride with them. The house smelled like mildew, there were a dozen dogs and cats, and some reptiles.

          I couldn't even tell my dad where I was when I called. I had no clue. So the guy whose house we're at talks to my dad, gives him directions, he comes to get me....he's mad AT ME. No way. :lol: I get grounded.

          So that week, I won't talk to the nerd. Finally, duh, since he could call my dad to ask me out, he can call and apologize to my dad. I told the dork to call my dad and explain and apologize so we can go out again. He did.

          I was un-grounded, but I never went out with that idiot again. In college, he ended up living with my boyfriend for a term and he'd tell anyone who met us that he dated me first. :yuck:


          • #6
            Re: Dates from HELL!!!!

            :imtheone: Stinkerbell I think yours take the cake so far..

            I think if my parents had made me go out with a nerd they should be some serious compenstion...
            Originally posted by aashee (Farter Extraordinair)
            Wow. If regular MiceChatters saw this thread they might think we are normal. Thanks Dan & Gina!


            • #7
              Re: Dates from HELL!!!!

              That's funny! Makes a girl wonder sometimes.

              My worst is not so bad as that. Just a guy who was pretty impressed with himself, and me at a time that my bs-detector wasn't tuned yet. He worked with me and asked me on a date.

              But I had to drive. Ok. Whatever. Dropped him off under a bridge and went home. Thought that was odd, but that's where he asked me to leave him.

              Turns out later he had 1- asked all the girls out on dates and the only one to keep his attention gave him sex; 2- was older than he had told me, 23 to my 17 years; 3- had a wife and kids.

              Oh, this was a guy with wandering hands, too. Got mad at me when I wouldn't let him just grope me. I'm 17, never had sex with anyone, and don't intend to have it with this creep.

              More bad date stories! Who's next?
              I pledge allegiance to the Earth, one planet, many gods, and to the universe in which she spins.


              • #8
                Re: Dates from HELL!!!!

                Oh boy, I could tell a bunch. Probably the worst was when my best friend's boyfriend (whom I hated and she dumped not too long after) set me up with one of his friends. We went out to dinner at a fairly cheap restaurant and when the bill came he said that he had forgotten his wallet. Fine, I was planning on paying my half anyway. He wasn't all that interesting or anything and I didn't plan on seeing him again afterwards. The worst part was that when I told my friend's boyfriend what had happened he said "Oh yeah, he pulls that 'I forgot my wallet' trick on all his dates!" I was like "SO WHY DID YOU SET ME UP WITH HIM!?!?"

                No wonder they are both still single! Oy!

                The original story is beyond amazing though. Whatta creep!


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