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Even Captain Jack and his grin can't keep 'Pirates' from sinking -SF Chronicle

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  • Even Captain Jack and his grin can't keep 'Pirates' from sinking -SF Chronicle

    Even Captain Jack and his rotten grin can't keep 'Pirates' sequel from sinking



    Mick LaSalle, Chronicle Movie Critic
    Thursday, July 6, 2006

    story at http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/articl...GP1JP8ID51.DTL

    Epics come about by necessity. The material demands it. A story is too big and too grand to contain within the usual boundaries, and so an epic is born. "The Lord of the Rings," for example, became an epic film trilogy because its story could only be told in that form. Epics don't come about through sheer willpower, by someone deciding to make an epic and then stuffing a weak story with a lot of junk. Do that and you don't get an epic, just cinematic water torture on the order of "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest."

    This second installment in the "Pirates" trilogy is more than the usual bad or even numbingly horrible movie. It's an amalgam of many of the modern cinema's worst tendencies and modern filmmaking's most unfortunate misconceptions. The film has an epic scale without an epic story, epic characters, epic ideas or epic emotions. The conversations are without wit and often without purpose. Much of the acting consists of mugging and empty gestures. Scenes are stretched out for no reason but to give the illusion of importance, so that the story is buried under rubble. Worst of all, director Gore Verbinski doesn't seem to understand the difference between motion and action.
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  • #2
    Re: Even Captain Jack and his grin can't keep 'Pirates' from sinking -SF Chronicle

    OK, but how does he REALLY feel about it?
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    • #3
      Re: Even Captain Jack and his grin can't keep 'Pirates' from sinking -SF Chronicle

      I guess he means it is an epic catastophy...

      I was concerned that it might... When you see the first film, one imediately notices that the scale is amazingly small... This is in contrast to the epic scale of the trailer...

      I noticed that it was as if they simpley threw an insain amount of mony at Jerry Buckenhiemer and said: Make another... We don't even need to see a script just as long as Depp is in it...
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      • #4
        Re: Even Captain Jack and his grin can't keep 'Pirates' from sinking -SF Chronicle

        The film could be a cinematic masterpiece, and the Bay Area papers would still pan it. It's what they do.

        It's a sequel... about Pirates... did they honestly expect it would be the next Citizen Kane?

        Unusually and exceedingly peculiar and altogether quite impossible to describe...


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        • #5
          Re: Even Captain Jack and his grin can't keep 'Pirates' from sinking -SF Chronicle

          Luckily for me, I tend to almost like the movies that the critics don't like. I won't watch a movie that I want to see if a critic or two or ten say it's awful. And I was far more entertained watching PotC than watching Citizen Kane. :shy:
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          • #6
            Re: Even Captain Jack and his grin can't keep 'Pirates' from sinking -SF Chronicle

            Originally posted by Morrigoon
            The film could be a cinematic masterpiece, and the Bay Area papers would still pan it. It's what they do.
            The LA Times wasn't any kinder...

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