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Disney - The Anti-King Midas


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  • Disney - The Anti-King Midas

    It appears whatever Disney gets into these days just turns to crap. They killed the Star Wars franchise and now they are going to kill the Marvel Comic Book franchise.

    Enter the New Warriors. Go woke, go broke.

    A new version of New Warriors shall appear, this time with new characters: Screentime, Snowflake, Safespace, B-Negative and Trailblazer.

    Screentime: A Meme-Obsessed super teen whose brain became connected to the internet after becoming exposed to his grandfather’s “experimental internet gas.” Now he can see augmented reality and real-time maps, and can instantly Google any fact. Does this make him effectively a genius? He sure acts like it does.

    Safespace and Snowflake: Psychic Twins. All twins are psychic, but we’re psychic-er. Snowflake, a cryokinetic, can materialize snowflake-shaped shuriken projectiles for throwing. Safespace can materialize pink forcefields, but he can’t inhabit them himself, the reflex only works if he’s protecting others. They’re hyper aware of modern culture and optics, and they see their Super Heroics as “a post-ironic meditation on using violence to combat bullying.” They're probably streaming this.

    "Snowflake and Safespace are the twins," the writer says, "and their names are very similar to Screentime; it's this idea that these are terms that get thrown around on the internet that they don't see as derogatory. [They] take those words and kind of wear them as badges of honor.

    "Safespace is a big, burly, sort of stereotypical jock. He can create forcefields, but he can only trigger them if he's protecting somebody else. Snowflake is non-binary and goes by they/them, and has the power to generate individual crystalized snowflake-shaped shurikens. The connotations of the word 'snowflake' in our culture right now are something fragile, and this is a character who is turning it into something sharp.

    "Snowflake is the person who has the more offensive power, and Safespace is the person who has the more defensive power. The idea is that they would mirror each other and complement each other."

    Trailblazer: A regular kid scooped up into the world of teenage Super Heroing. Her “magic backpack” is actually a pocket dimension with seemingly infinite space, from which she can pull out useful or random objects—it’s not always under her control. She claims to get her power from god, but “not the god you’re thinking of.”

    "She's a group home and foster kid who is volunteering at a senior center when this mysterious threat shows up and Night Thrasher runs to the rescue," the scribe adds. "And because she helps him, she ends up in the crosshairs of this new 'Outlawed' law...

    “Trailblazer wants to help people, but she doesn't think of herself as a Super Hero (yet!),” Kibblesmith concludes. “The Marvel Universe is a reflection of our own, and when a new law gets put into place, it affects people in unforeseen ways.”

    B-Negative: A teen “living vampire” exposed to Michael Morbius’s blood as a child in a rogue, but life-saving medical procedure. He still ages like a regular kid, but has all the abilities of Morbius. He’s also obsessed with all the music and attitude of a “classic” long-past decades like the '90s, and the '00s. “The world is a vampire…and so am I.”

    "B-Negative is the goth kid. When he was a baby he got a rogue lifesaving blood transfusion, we assume, from Michael Morbius. And now he has a very similar look, and very similar vampire powers," shares Kibblesmith. “B-Negative ages like a regular person (or does he?) and he definitely drinks blood (or does he?), but designer/artist Luciano Vecchio took brilliant inspiration from the '90s Spider-Man cartoon and gave B-Negative the 'leech suckers' that the animated version of Morbius had on his palms.”

    ***03/23/2020 UPDATE***

    It appears the Trailer isn't doing so well. Go figure.

    Click image for larger version

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    Last edited by Jar.Jar.Abrams; 03-23-2020, 10:17 PM.

  • #2
    I thought Jar-Jar's post was a Stephen Colbert-style parody... until I clicked on the link.

    You can't make this stuff up, folks.

    "Disneyland is often called a magic kingdom because
    it combines fantasy and history, adventure and learning,
    together with every variety of recreation and fun,
    designed to appeal to everyone."

    - Walt Disney

    "Disneyland is all about turning movies into rides."
    - Michael Eisner

    "It's very symbiotic."
    - Bob Chapek


    • #3
      Originally posted by Mr Wiggins View Post
      I thought Jar-Jar's post was a Stephen Colbert-style parody... until I clicked on the link.

      You can't make this stuff up, folks.
      Oh my. You're right. I thought it was a joke too. Are they serious? If it wasn't at Marvel's website, I wouldn't have believed it. DC Comics is probably having a laugh riot.
      Live Action Snow White Looks Amazing!

      We need another Walt...and fast!

      "It's always more difficult to recover than it is to do the right thing at the beginning" - Tony Baxter,
      The Imagineering Story, Episode 4 "Hit or Miss"


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