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The Jokes Thread

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  • The Jokes Thread

    A place for us to have some laughs reading others jokes.

    Here is one I found:
    A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job. In the first room she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out "GREEN SIDE UP!" In the second room she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!" The lady was somewhat curious but she said nothing. In the third room she said she would like it painted a warm rose color. The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!"
    The lady then asked him, "Why do you keep yelling 'green side up'?"
    "I'm sorry," came the reply. "But I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street.
    :love:

  • #2
    Re: The Jokes Thread

    13 Things Films Have Taught Us

    1) All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices, which have large red read-outs to tell you exactly when it will go off.

    2) Should you need to pass yourself off as a German officer it will not be necessary to speak the language, a convincing accent will do.

    3) All apartments in Paris overlook the Eiffel tower.

    4) Most lap top computers are powerful enough to override a bank security system or the communication system of an invading alien civilization.

    5) Every single person in martial arts Film has a black belt in karate.

    6) When staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.

    7) 1 man shooting at 20 men has more chance of hitting them than 20 men shooting at 1 man if he is the hero.

    8) During a police investigation it will be necessary to visit a strip joint at least once.

    9) Large studio-type apartments in big cities are affordable by single people with a low wage.

    10) The entire British population lives in London.

    11) It doesn't matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a martial arts fight; your enemies will attack you one at a time while the others dance around you menacingly.

    12) In musicals everyone you meet in the street will know all the words to the songs and the steps to the dances.

    13) When captured by an evil international terrorist, guns are not necessary to defeat them, sarcasm and wisecracks are your best weapons.

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    • #3
      Re: The Jokes Thread

      :lol:
      :love:

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